


Knov's List

by losing_sanity_fast



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Aged-Up Character(s), Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Ging being Ging so Gon has issues, High School AU, Implied statutory rape, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, Teacher-Student Relationship, active homophobia including personal attacks and slurs, characters aged up or aged down to be hs student age, implied sex, multiple POVs Gon/Killua/Canary, non-binary characters, open conversations about sex, quarterback!Gon, sexual and sexist jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:22:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 35,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/losing_sanity_fast/pseuds/losing_sanity_fast
Summary: Knov is the bane of almost all students who take AP English. He gives everyone a long list of ‘offences’ that would make them fail his class.Gon’s always tried to fly under Knov’s radar, but the new student Killua sees it as a personal challenge to commit them all. And Gon can’t help but be drawn to a good challenge and proper shenanigans.Canary takes her dream to become an investigative reporter very seriously and she’s looking for a good story that would impress college admissions boards.
Relationships: Canary/Alluka Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Knov/Palm Siberia, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 92
Kudos: 161





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is actually inspired by a [ tumblr post ](https://trilies.tumblr.com/post/188096285680/smallest-feeblest-boggart-quill-of-thoth). the story is described felt like a perfect killugon moment Here's a quote from it.
> 
> _“when I was in high school my AP english teacher told us we weren’t allowed to eat in class so I took that as a personal challenge to see what the most ridiculous thing I could eat in class without getting caught was so I started bringing soup to class and as soon as I’d crack the lid of my thermos the tiniest bit this football player that sat like 3 rows in front of me would going “I SMELL MEAT SOMEONE HAS SOUP” and no one ever believed him”_
> 
> I'd like to thank the forever kind and patient **[sub_divided](https://subdee.tumblr.com/)** for beta-reading this fic. She's the best. **[She's also a wonderful writer of beautiful HxH fics.](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sub_divided)**
> 
> I'll be posting one chapter a week.
> 
> I'm not a native speaker so the language is what it is.

* * *

_Cover art by the talented and amazing[Pio](https://pio-hxh-art.tumblr.com/)._

* * *

For several days Gon had thought that something was wrong with the ventilation system at school and that the smells from the cafeteria were travelling to the classrooms in the other wing. But he soon realised that the things he could smell during English class didn't match the menu for the day. 

Was the smell coming from outside? Could it be this strong on the second floor? 

'Mr Freecss, on what planet are you? We're discussing “Crime and Punishment” here, care to join us?' Mr Knov asked as he hovered above Gon, who only now realised that he must have spaced out trying to figure out the origin of the strange smells. 

'Someone's eating soup, I can smell meat,' he said, in a pointless attempt to get Knov off his case. 

The class roared, which made the stuck up teacher even less amused. 

'Mr Freecss, the only thing you can smell here are teenagers with questionable hygiene habits and the chemicals the custodian used to wipe the floor last night. If you don't start concentrating in class I'll talk to Coach Kruger about your participation in the football team this year. Wonder how that would affect your prospects of getting into college, especially that you’ll probably struggle to pass my class again.'

'Sorry sir,' Gon looked down at his book. 

The rest of the teens fell silent, Knov had this ability to suck up the joy out of everything and everyone in an instant. 

Surprisingly enough the smell of rich beef broth attacked Gon’s nostrils more aggressively. As if the container with the soup was just opened slightly wider. 

##  **__**

Gon knew his nose didn't deceive him.

‘Freecss, are you coming?’ His teammate, Meleoron, asked when the class ended. 

‘In a moment, I need to finish my notes, I'll catch up,’ he lied. He was scribbling in his notebook, but really he wanted to wait for the whole class to pass by him, so he could identify the soup bearer. 

As soon as the guy in galaxy printed skinny jeans and hightop purple skate shoes passed him, Gon was sure. The colourful badge and pin covered backpack contained soup. 

With one quick sweep Gon pushed all of his stuff into his own bag and got up to follow the guy. What was his name, Gon pondered. The kid was new, transferred only this year, and summer vacation had ended just two weeks ago. Gon hadn’t had time to get to know everyone yet. Kaiwa? Kira? Something like that. 

He caught up with the tall teen by the lockers. 

‘Hiding the soup?’ he asked. He decided not to risk a name, since he wasn’t sure.

‘Why, do you want some, nosy mc stalker?’

‘What, well…’ Gon hadn’t planned this conversation when he embarked on the chase, and he didn’t expect his target to notice that he was trailing him. 

The teen was observing him from above the high collar of his fancy black sweatshirt, that obscured the lower half of his face, leaving only playful blue eyes and a mop of very fair blond hair visible. 

‘Here, try it, it’s very good.’ He offered Gon a thermos. 

Gon took a sip, the soup was thick, he could taste coriander, beansprouts, chives and mushrooms. He loved it.

‘I’m Killua, by the way.’

Gon had the impression that the guy was smiling under the collar. 

‘I’m …’ he started when he capped the thermos.

‘Gon, I know, captain of the football team, the most popular kid at school.’

Gon smiled and rubbed the back of his head, the description wasn’t wrong, it just felt weird to hear it said out loud by someone. 

‘Yeah…’

‘So, Knov’s a certified asshole,’ Killua continued while putting stuff into his locker. ‘I hope you’re not in trouble.’

‘Not more than I already was with him, he doesn’t like me.’

‘Does he like anyone apart from that creepy groupie of his from the front row?’

Gon shook his head, probably not, he thought. If Knov showed any kindness ever it was only to Palm. 

‘During the first lesson he gave out this list of 30 things that will make you fail his class” Killua continued, ‘I'm saying there’s more than a little off with him.’

‘Oh, oh.’ The pieces finally fell into place. ‘That’s what the soup is for, whoever gets caught eating in class gets a failing grade, it was on the list.’

‘Yup, you catch on fast’, Killua rolled his head back a little and Gon could finally see his smile. If there was ever a good moment to use the word ‘impish’ that was it.

‘It’s college admissions year, don’t you think it’s not worth it?’

‘Nah, I’ll do each and every thing on that list and still get an A.’

Gon was impressed, he respected a good challenge, especially a self imposed one.

‘I’d like to see that.’ 

‘I’ll keep you updated then.’ Killua locked his locker. ‘I’ll be going to my next class. See ya.’

‘Yeah, bye, Killua.’ 

##  **__**

'Gon, what ya doing talking with that fag?’ Leol, Gon’s teammate elbowed him while Cheetu and Welfin snickered. Without even thinking about it, somehow Gon always found himself walking with the team down the hallway between classes. ‘What did our new self appointed king of queers want from you?'

'King of queens? What does that mean?', Gon looked at him confused. 

'King of queens too, good one. Where does he buy all his clothes? Little girl’s section?’ Cheetu piped up. That got a laugh out of Leo and a high five from Welfin; Gon rolled his eyes. 

‘Since he came to school with his weirdo siblings all the local freaks have sworn allegiance to the Zoldyck crown.' Welfin added and the other boys laughed some more. Then he addressed Gon directly. 'Nah, queers, you know homos.'

'Oh, you mean you think Killua's gay? I haven’t talked to him about such stuff. What does that matter either way, I'm not asking any of you who you'd like to date. Isn't it good that he's got friends already, being new is hard.' Gon wanted to say something harsher, but starting a fight felt pointless, especially that he had to play with them till the end of the season. He thought Killua’s star jeans were really cute, actually, original. 

'Fuck, Freecss, tone down the upstanding good boy a notch.'

'Gon's aiming for prom king, he needs all the votes. Cut him some slack,' Meruem spoke for the first time from when they had greeted each other. Everyone nodded in understanding, after all Meruem always dispersed wisdom, he excelled both academically and athletically, most of the team admired him. Gon did too, to some extent, but Meruem’s above the fray attitude got old at times. Not this time though, Gon welcomed the end to that conversation.

With coldish goodbyes Gon took his leave to get to class, he didn't understand what the big deal was. Even if Killua was indeed gay. He didn't dislike his teammates, but they were never really on the same wavelength with him, because they focused on irrelevant stuff like that. 

Gon couldn't get the idea of breaking all of Konv's rules out of his head. He pulled out the handout to analyse it and only half listened to Mr Mackernasey, who was explaining ocean currents. 

##  **__**

He found Killua in the cafeteria during lunch. He was sitting at the table with several other kids, Gon's teammates were right about Killua having friends. Gon smiled. 

'Hi', he said. 'Can I sit with you?'

The table went silent. 

'You really are stalking..', Killua started. 

'Yes, please sit', one of the two very similar, tall dark haired girls interrupted him. 

'Yeah, ignore our brother', said the other. 'Everyone's welcome.'

The table was packed indeed and squeezing next to Killua proved hard. The welcoming atmosphere and general cheerfulness made Gon disregard the cramped seating arrangement quickly. 

'I'm Alluka', said the one wearing a fancy black and white dress. Her hair was tied with a huge lace bow. 'This is Nanika', she pointed at her sister who sported a bright colorful dress. Nanika waved at Gon and smiled widely. 'And that's Kalluto', she pointed at a kid further down the table. The teen with a neat bob and very elegant clothes didn't react to the name, Gon wasn’t entirely sure if they were a boy or a girl. Alluka crumpled a napkin into a ball and threw it at her sibling. 'Oi, Kalluto, say “hi!”'

The kid lifted their gaze from their phone and said “hi”, then instantly dropped their eyes back to the screen. 

'Kalluto joined the theatre troupe here at school, and they are addicted to the group chat.' Nanika explained. Gon had never heard a single person referred to as “they”, but before he could ask about it Killua spoke.

'You'd imagine my sisters recently joined the debate team, but nah it’s just genetics, they’ve always talked this much,' Killua got kicked under the table for that. 

'Anyway, this is Gon, we have English together.'

The rest of lunch passed with Gon getting introduced to more people. Eventually the theatre troupe came and another table was moved and joined with theirs to accommodate the extra people. He knew some of them personally, so he waved at Machi and Shizuku once they settled in. Machi smiled back and nudged Shizuku to acknowledge Gon, but the girl seemed a bit confused as to who he was. Gon wondered how she managed to get so far through school when she could hardly remember anything. Phinks and his buddies Feitan and Shalnark made faces at Gon, he had a bit of an ancient beef with them. Machi did not let them do anything though, she made the guys focus on what Chrollo was saying. She mouthed “they’re still idiots” at Gon, he nodded in agreement.

Thus his plan to talk to Killua failed miserably. 

‘Can we meet after school?’ Gon asked Killua when everyone was getting up to go to class.

‘Uuuu.’ Alluka hummed.

‘Ugh, concentrate on eating your vegetables!’ Killua hissed at her, he also blushed a bit.

‘Lunch is over, Killua’, Nanika defended her sister.

‘Then go to class, brats, scram.’ He looked embarrassed. ‘And yeah, Gon, why not.’

##  **__**

Maybe a big story happened only every other year or - the horror - even more rarely, Canary pondered sitting on stairs to the roof. She liked to go there to think and enjoy the quiet, few people tried to get on the roof since the administration had installed a camera above the entrance and served a week's detention to anyone who got recorded. 

Was she bound to write exclusively about the sports teams and the clubs? She rolled her eyes - besides being boring, none of that would bolster her college application essay. It had taken Canary a few years in high school to realize that journalism was her passion, so her application was pretty thin at the moment, although her academics were mostly good. 

She could cover the Zoldycks, the family that transferred unexpectedly. They caused an instant uproar with how openly gay the oldest brother presented and the they/them pronouns of the youngest sibling. Some attacked both of them, but Killua could spread a very threatening aura when he wanted so most did it in private. Besides the majority didn't mind the queerness at all, they just preferred not to say anything to stay off the bullies' radar. 

Homophobia in high school could be a worthy topic to cover in the school paper, but writing about the Zoldycks could prove tricky on several levels. Firstly their family was actually pretty scary, although most people at school didn’t know it. One would have had to have been very into politics to know them. Canary's search into the family found mostly official press releases of the Kukuroo conglomerate and some very friendly puff pieces and interviews with the adults in the family. The parents projected a model conservative capitalist family. Their oldest son Illumi ran Volcano, a company that subcontracted mercenaries to the government. The second son, Milluki, was in charge of Kukuroo Analytics, a consulting company allegedly involved in some data mining and election fraud scandals. The four youngest had no social media presence till about six months ago. On their instagram and twitter profiles they only posted cute selfies, stupid or cute pictures of each other or their pets and shitposts. Nothing too personal. 

So stepping on the family's toes could prove problematic. 

Ethics posed another issue. The scarce mentions of all the Zoldyck children talked about 5 sons and one daughter. Canary didn't really want to investigate that, it was none of her business what their assigned genders were. And she didn't want to draw any attention to it. The Zoldyck siblings very carefully chose what to advertise to their schoolmates. 

Canary put away her laptop. Three hours of research for nothing. I am panicking, she thought to herself, only a week of classes has passed. I didn't get the youth centre story till December last year. 

##  **_**

She prefered watching basketball to football, especially when the players were just practicing, but the paper covered all teams and she liked Gon and Meruem more than Phinks or Nobunaga. She ran down the stands to catch Gon before he reached the locker room. 

'How are you feeling about the first game of the season?'

'Pretty good,' Gon gave her a radiant smile. 

'The new players look good, especially Zushi.'

'Yeah, Zushi is pretty amazing.'

'It's been a while since a sophomore was put on the main team. Actually since you and Meruem got chosen two years ago.'

‘Maybe Zushi can be the next captain?’ Gon said. 

‘It’d become a school legend, the person who makes the main team sophomore year becomes the captain. Though Meruem didn’t..’

‘Not publicly, but Bisky made the decision last year.’

Canary took a quick look around to see if all the other players left the field. ‘Must have stung, he’s such an overachiever.’

Gon giggled, but tried to suppress it. ‘He is sometimes. Today he was sulking because he got his first D ever.’ 

‘Oh, from History, I got a D too.’

‘You got a D from History?’ Gon pressed his palm to her forehead. ‘You don’t seem feverish, though.’ 

She laughed. ‘It’s the new teacher, Ms Menchi. I’m not sure what her deal is, but she made a test and D was the best grade anyone got. More than half got an F.’

‘Sounds like she was making a point, like Knov.’ Gon said.

‘Yes, exactly, I thought the same thing. I’m not sure if she’s just insecure because she’s new and attractive, and some boys made googly eyes at her, or she’s as much of a dick as Knov.’

‘Either way it’s a mean move.’

‘True, at least I’m not stuck with Knov anymore, so I just got her to deal with. Are you still in his class?’

‘Yeah, Mito said I’d probably get a D regardless of whether I took regular English or AP, so it’s better to take the class that counts as more.’

‘I get this logic, but damn, one more year with Knov? I’d strangle him if I had to sit one more class with him. Does he still give out the list?’

‘Yes! OMG yes! And it’s even longer now.’

‘How can it be longer? It had 20 points already.’

‘I know, but now it has 30. Some feel strained, like he was running out of ideas but wanted a nice round number.’

‘Wow, he’s such a loser.’

‘Right?’ Gon was laughing, then he suddenly stopped and pecked Canary on the cheek. ‘Argh, I forgot I need to run because I’m meeting Killua after class, but we can talk about it later.’

‘Yeah, bye.’ She said a bit shocked.

He reached the locker room door then turned around. ‘Canary, do an interview with Zushi, I think it’d be a cool one. Before and after his first game.’

‘Yeah, I was planning to.’

‘Great! See ya!’

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua gets to know Gon, aka they both suck at small talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now the fic has beautiful cover art drawn by [Pio](https://pio-hxh-art.tumblr.com/), please click it and reblog it on Tumblr (you need to go to chapter 1, it's at the beginning of chapter 1). There will be more of Pio's art coming with future chapters.
> 
> Last time i forgot to include the full Knov's List: 
> 
> 1\. Gum  
> 2\. Cell phones to check stuff during class  
> 3\. Headphones  
> 4\. Sleeping  
> 5\. Eating  
> 6\. Passing notes  
> 7\. Texting or chatting on the phone  
> 8\. Talking during class  
> 9\. Not turning in HW on time  
> 10\. Coming late to class  
> 11\. Leaving during the first or last 10 mins of class  
> 12\. Doing HW in class  
> 13\. Doing other assignments for other classes in class  
> 14\. Reading books  
> 15\. Staring out the window  
> 16\. Violating dress code  
> 17\. Playing games  
> 18\. Copying HW  
> 19\. Dating another student in class  
> 20\. Hoodies  
> 21\. Wikipedia as a source on an essay  
> 22\. Drinking  
> 23\. Cheating on tests  
> 24\. Dangly earrings  
> 25\. Makeup  
> 26\. Nailpolish  
> 27\. Coming intoxicated to class  
> 28\. Anything apart from the book, notebook and pen on the desk  
> 29\. Writing in red ink  
> 30\. Getting up without permission

First Killua finished his homework in the library, then he waited for Gon in front of the school. He skateboarded around the parking lot to kill time. He hung back away from the door, though. He didn’t want the whole football team to see him. Some of them had hurled slurs in his direction before, which he didn’t care about that much. As long as people kept their distance from his siblings all was fine. That didn’t mean he would take a beating from the whole football team if he didn’t have to, though. He could hold his own in a fight against two or even three guys, but more than that was just pushing his luck unnecessarily. He played it safe for now, if Gon tried to approach with the rest of those guys in tow Killua would just bail. Gon did seem an okay guy, all the interactions they’d had so far were nothing but pleasant, but people’d tried to trick Killua before and a meeting after hours in front of an almost empty school did raise a few red flags. 

Gon came out of the school after most of the other football players had driven away. He waited in the agreed spot alone so Killua went up, though he stayed alert.

‘Hey, so what’s up?’

‘I wanted to talk about Kn… English...’ Gon started and looked around nervously. ‘You know what, not here. Let’s get some coffee, or some food. I’m actually starving after the training.’ He smiled. Gon’s smile was an experience in and of itself, Killua’d already noticed that during their previous encounters. It was wide, radiant, sincere. This one in particular projected a bit of awkwardness, but in a very cute way. 

Killua swallowed. The fear of getting into a fight with the football team subsided and gave the stage to a different one: the fear of making a complete idiot of oneself. Gon was very handsome, to an extent that couldn’t be ignored. He had olive skin peppered with freckles and thick brown hair, amber eyes, prominent cheekbones and features of a model.

And now they were supposed to spend time together, alone in a cafe. 

This is not a date, Killua thought to himself, to get his mind off analysing Gon’s looks. His brain reluctantly moved on so he was able to answer. ‘Sure, though I don’t know what’s good around here.’

##  **__**

They rode for a while, Gon on his bike and Killua on the skateboard. Gon led him to a Turkish place, on the one side of the room it had a counter with savoury dishes, on the other there was a huge display case with desserts that smelled so good that Killua wanted to forgo a healthy meal altogether and just order a piece of each pastry. But Gon went for a healthy option with fresh veggies and Killua felt the pressure to act responsibly. 

‘My dad took me here when he came home once,’ Gon said after they settled at the table waiting for the buzzer to tell them to pick up their food. ‘He was on a contract in Turkey and wanted me to try the cuisine, it’s very good.’ Something about his voice drew Killua’s attention. The comment fitted typical small talk criteria, so Gon sounding awkward would’ve at least made sense, even if it’d have been quite out of character based on the two other conversations they’d had. A melancholic undertone piqued Killua’s interest. So instead of just acknowledging the reasoning behind Gon’s choice he analysed the words once more and took a gamble. 

‘It sounds like it’s a rare occurrence, your dad coming home I mean.’ 

‘It is,’ Gon gazed at Killua with surprise and paused for a bit. His expression was hard to read, as if he was collecting his thoughts. Then he smiled more to himself than to anyone else. ‘He’s an archeology expert, he invented his own way of securing artefacts. He teaches at universities all around the world, or works as a consultant on various government funded projects.’

‘Sounds cool, he gets to see a lot of places.’

‘He does.’

‘But it means he’s rarely home.’

‘Yeah, very rarely. I don’t think he’s the kind of person who really needs a home in their life, if that makes sense.’

Killua nodded. 

‘He likes his freedom, the change of scenery, new experiences that come with travel. That’s how he met my mum, actually she’s an engineer and they worked on a project together. Then another in a different country. Aunt Mito says that they seemed to be made for each other because of how they approached their work and what they liked.’

Killua waited for the inevitable ‘but’, Gon’s pause wasn’t one for him to interject. The longer he talked the more strained his expression was, as if finding the right words was increasingly difficult. 

‘When she got pregnant it turned out they differed after all. She wanted him to marry her, she wanted a proper family life, but he didn’t. He said he wanted to continue the relationship, but he wasn't ready to get married yet.’ Gon’s lipa twisted. ‘Or ever, Aunt Mito says he despises the institution of marriage, but he doesn’t say such things to me. I’ve heard Aunt Mito and Greatgran chastise him about how he talked to me when I was little, so now he’s really careful what he says to me.’ Gon kind of laughed, as if he was trying to veer the conversation back to the small talk level. At this point, however, it was impossible thus the laugh turned into more of a snort. 

‘My mother on the other hand was pressured by her family who wanted all the traditional stuff for her, you know the wedding and the marriage and a house and so on. So she decided to give me away to him, because she'd have a better chance with another man if she didn't have a child. At least that's what Ging, my dad I mean, told me. He said he respected her decision…’

Killua wanted to say that it was fucked up what his parents had done. He didn’t expect the hottest and most popular guy at school to have this sort of twisted back story. The coldness of Gon’s parents matched the toxic obsession of Killua’s mother and the manipulativeness of his father and Illumi, it just had a different flavour of messed-up to it. But he wasn’t completely sure how Gon felt about his father, so he decided to ask a neutralish question. 

‘So you live alone?’

‘No, I live with my aunt. Ging actually wanted to give me up for adoption, but she didn’t let him… Though I guess, he sort of did, because my Aunt Mito adopted me.’ 

Killua felt like screaming inside, the comment was made too casually to be sincere. Not about a topic like that. But he understood, Gon’s thoughts got away from him and he was trying to rein in the conversation before it became even more emotional and strange. Killua would have been doing the same thing.

‘He visits occasionally, and replies to my emails, but calling him my dad is always weird. I try to do it, but after a while it feels odd. Ging makes more sense.’

Silence enveloped them. Killua didn’t exactly know what to do, but Gon looked shaken and kind of sad, because in the end he failed to end on a light note. No joke, no smooth transition to another topic. Killua felt for him, so he reached and took Gon’s hand. He gave it a soft squeeze like he would with one of his siblings. 

Gon looked up at him, surprised, but didn’t pull his hand away. 

‘Haha, this was so TMI. I don’t know why I went off like this, I should have taken you to the ramen shop next door, but this one is better… it’s just got baggage.’ He tried to mask unease with a smile.

‘Nah, it’s fine, family is strange.’ Killua smiled reassuringly. 

They sat there until the buzzer went off. No words, just Killua cradling Gon’s hands. 

By the time they started eating Gon seemed to have collected himself. 

‘The thing I actually wanted to talk about is Knov’s list. Not weird you out.’

‘It’s fine, I suck at small talk, so I’m glad we skipped that part altogether.’ 

‘So we’re friends now?’

‘That’s a good question, but we’re definitely more than acquaintances. So due to the unusual circumstances I rule the word “friends” appropriate.’ Killua was trying to sound casual. The truth was that he’d never had proper friends if he excluded the twins. His family made it hard to get close to anyone, and in the private schools he’d attended before people struck alliances more than friendships. He was treading on uncharted territory for himself but Gon’s reaction made it clear this wasn’t how such things were supposed to go. 

‘Yay.’

‘The list, though? What about it?’ 

‘I want in on the shenanigans. I’ve reread the full list, for some of the stuff you need a partner. Like for texting or passing notes.’

‘I could text my sisters.’

‘Well, ok, but wouldn’t texting someone in class be better?’

‘True, higher cheekiness level plus higher difficulty.’ 

‘See? So I’d like to do the list with you. What do you say?’

Killua chewed his stuffed eggplant slowly, it tasted very good. He pondered. Gon was strange in a very magnetic way. Now that Killua had spent some time with him he couldn’t understand how Gon managed to be a popular kid. Okay, the looks and the physical prowess checked out, but Gon was also sincere in an absolutely disarming way, not a poser obsessed with his image. What’s more Killua couldn’t sense a hint of malice on him. Besides, wasn't getting in trouble together the point of friendship? 

‘Fine. We’ll need to strategise some of the points. I haven’t given them much thought yet, but I know they’ll be tricky. Copying homework for example. This isn’t math, where everyone should have more or less the same methods to solve the problems.’

‘Yeah, I’m down for brainstorming all that.’

‘But this means you have to keep your grades decent, you can’t be an easy target for him.’

Gon let out a sad sigh. 

‘I’m shit at writing essays. And the books we read are super boring.’ 

‘I’ll help you with that then, we’ll learn together.’

‘You would?’

‘Yeah, but you need to buy me some treats from that other counter as a tutoring fee.’ Killua pointed at the glass display. 

‘Sure, no problem.’ Gon flashed him a radiant smile. 

‘And not a word about this to anyone.’

‘Yup, I know how shenanigans work, this is only between us.’

##  **___**

They didn't discuss much during their first “strategy meeting” in the restaurant because Killua had to go pick up his youngest sibling after theatre rehearsal. Gon just found out that thanks to Killua's fancy high collar sweatshirt he had already chewed gum in class, eaten several types of food and drank. He was also going to use the collar to break the dangly earring rule once his pretty fresh piercing holes fully healed up. Killua hadn't gotten his ears pierced just to thwart Knov, he explained, he'd gone with his siblings to celebrate their first day in a public school without a dress code. However, now that he had them he fully intended to take advantage. Gon admired the twinkly studs in Killua's ears and wondered whether it would be okay for him to get his own ears pierced while still on the high school football team. 

He couldn’t stop feeling a bit awkward about the overshare, but Killua had made him feel so at ease back then. He also didn't seem too bothered, he actually comforted Gon without judgement. Probably because he had so many siblings, Gon decided. He had none so he never really had the opportunity to talk to anyone his age this honestly. Mito was great, but she was also his mum.

All evening when he was doing his homework, and later when he was playing Greed Island Tournament with some of his teammates Gon's thoughts drifted to Killua, their plan to break all the rules and the conversation in the restaurant. 

‘Are we playing with Zazan? Because you aim like a bitch, Gon!’ Leol was yelling at him in the headphones.

Gon scrunched his nose, not that he particularly liked Zazan, the head cheerleader, but she played GIT really well. She just rarely played with his team, because they spoke to her and about her like that. Gon couldn't really blame her.

'Freecss, what the fuck?!' Cheetu joined in. 'Are you even there? I need some shielding here. Fucking hell, I'm dead, thanks for nothing asshole.'

'Captain, if you're busy we can play some other time.' Welfin tried to keep up some pretence, but his voice implied he also wanted Gon to fuck off from the game. 

In all honesty Gon wasn't feeling it that evening anyway. Especially that their abrasive language irked him more than usual. 

‘Yeah, sorry, my aunt just came into my room, I need to help her. See you tomorrow,” he lied and disconnected, not waiting for their replies. 

Mito wasn’t even at home, because she went to a conference with her colleagues from work and then she was going to spend the weekend at the spa. 

He got up and went to talk with Greatgran Abe. 

Her room was on the first floor next to the kitchen. Theoretically it was actually pretty big, but her closets and bookcases took a lot of space, though not as much as Kon’s mattress. Gon dropped onto it next to the armchair where Abe was sitting. 

Kon huffed at the disturbance of his nap but then he wagged his tail and moved to put his huge head in Gon’s lap. Gon had found the Mastiff cross while he’d gone camping with Mito one summer. He came across a moving sack in the forest. Two puppies were crying inside. They finished their trip instantly and took them to the vet. Dr Gel worked very hard to save them both but only Kon survived the night. Gon had felt irrationally responsible for that, especially when he was a kid, even though the only guilty person was the one who threw away the animals. To help him deal with the sadness Mito let him take Kon home when he became strong enough to be let out of the clinic. She probably wouldn’t have done that had she known how huge the dog was going to grow. Mito’s conspiracy theory went like this: Dr Gel knew from the start what breed Kon took after, but she wanted the dog to find a loving home so she withheld this information. Gon didn’t exactly believe that because baby Kon looked like every other puppy he’d ever seen which meant like a potato with tiny legs. And Mito did love Kon, she just sometimes complained about the tons of discount meat she had to hunt for in the supermarkets. 

From the beginning Gon had taken care of the puppy as much as he could, he never wanted Mito to regret her decision. Kon used to sleep in Gon’s bed, which became tricky once the dog reached his full size, 150 pounds. He resembled a bear with his typical Mastiff face and bulky body but his other parent gave him large pointy ears and a super long bushy tail a fox would be proud off. Now Kon was almost 10 and his spine and hips started to act up, his joints weren’t what they used to be, so stairs became a challenge. He couldn’t jog with Gon anymore, he prefered slow walks with Abe and the quiet pace of her life. Though he always welcomed Gon with a tailwag, whenever he came to hug his strange bear-fox of a dog. 

Abe was embroidering a tablecloth, an ambitious project, but she wanted to have it done for Christmas. It had stars and snowflakes and Christmas tree branches with bulbs, on the half she had already finished. He’d helped her prepare the design on a spreadsheet. She’d actually taught him how to sew, and embroider a bit when he was a kid. Sewing came in handy several times, especially when he went to a summer camp, but since he’d started middle school he’d never really had time to embroider anything. He wondered if he could even do a small design. Like the ones he’d created on one of Kon’s quilts Abe’d sewn for the dog years ago. Gon’d helped her decorate it.

After a while Abe’s radio show started, so he made her some tea and left her to it. 

Back in his room he spun on his chair and picked up his phone. He turned it around in his hand, unlocked and locked it several times. Then he sent a message to Killua.

**Me** : do you play GIT?

He waited a moment before Killua replied.

**Secret Soup** : yeah, sometimes

**Me** : would you like to play with me?

**Secret Soup** : yeah, why not

**Me** : yay my handle is GIGon

**Secret Soup** : oh, you mean rn

yeah, i can’t do that

i’m doing my homework

**Me** : boring, come on

**Secret Soup** : first, i hope you did all your reading for english, because you’re off

the list breaking team if you didn’t

second, 

gon i’m a nerd, learning is what i do

**Me** : some nerd, nerds don’t skateboard. They also don’t break my running record.

It took a moment before Killua wrote back.

**Secret Soup** : i scared my sisters i laughed so loud

So it’s your record? I beg for your forgiveness captain perfect 

had i known i wouldn’t have dared

Gon felt his lips scrunch together as he pouted.

**Secret Soup** : also how do you even know about that?

**Me** : my teammates talked about me hanging out with you at lunch

and coach bisky heard them, and she told us

apparently coach razor was sobbing in the staff room when you said no 

to the basketball team

**Secret Soup** : that bisky person sure hates coach razor

**Me** : maybe idk

either way play with me

play with meplay with meplay with meplay with meplay with meplay with me

**Secret Soup** : in an hour or so, we can play with my sisters, nanika crushes in GIT

**Me** : yess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon visits Killua's house. Canary does her editor in chief job.

* * *

To make sure Gon did all his English homework and remained as uninteresting to Knov as possible, Killua invited Gon on Friday to study together. 

The Zoldyck siblings lived in a typical large suburban house about 15 minutes from where Gon’s was. The first floor looked a bit empty, it had an open floor plan for the kitchen, living room and the dining area, but with only the essential furniture for each and hardly any decor. If you could call an elaborate cat tree and a large dog bed decor. The sitting space was fully dedicated to gaming equipment. It reminded Gon more of a lounge in a dorm than a suburban home. A dark grey borzoi lazily got off one of the couches and trotted towards them. He happily greeted Killua and then slowly inspected Gon. 

‘This is Mike.’

‘Hi, Mike.’ Gon patted the long thin head and neck. The dog gracefully let him do it and then turned back to his couch. The dog bed was decor only after all. 

None of Killua’s siblings roamed downstairs, but a man was chopping vegetables on the counter by the fridge. 

“Is that your dad?” Gon asked while taking his shoes off and putting them on a rack by the door next to many pairs of colourful trainers, cute flats and patterned Doc Martens. 

“Nah, that’s Gotoh, our jailer.”

“House manager, appointed by your parents” the man lifted his head.

“Oh, hello Mr Gotoh, I’m Gon.”

“Nice to meet you, Gon. Will you be joining us for dinner?”

“Of course he will be,” Killua said and went up to the fridge. “Would you like anything to drink, Gon?’ he asked while taking out milk. ‘We have soda, juice, tea and hot chocolate, and milk I guess.’

‘Juice will be fine.’

‘Orange or blackcurrant?’ Gotoh asked, because Killua was pouring some milk into a very big mug and then broke one bar of chocolate into it. 

Gon observed him as he put it into the microwave, so it took him a moment to register the question addressed to him. 

‘Blackcurrant.’

The microwave beeped and Killua took out his mug and started stirring its thick contents. He beckoned Gon to come upstairs. 

“So you don’t live with your parents?” Gon asked as they were climbing up.

“No, we managed to get away from them, mostly, because well Gotoh is still here. But it’s much better now, we can be ourselves.”

Gon was a little curious how that worked but he didn’t press for explanations. 

The second floor looked much more lived in. He could hear Kalluto rehearsing their lines through the closed door to one of the bedrooms. Alluka and Nanika sat in a spacious room that probably used to be the master bedroom, but now served as the twins’ room with a big table by the window. Books and stationary covered it. The sisters were working on math homework. Two large black cats, one fluffy and one shorthair, assisted them curled by their side on the window sill. 

“Hi,” the girls greeted Gon immediately as he walked by. 

He waved at them, but followed Killua down the corridor. 

His friend’s room had a mural on the wall depicting a smirking goofy cat in an awkward pose, to Gon’s knowledge a typical cat behaviour when they pretended they hadn’t just missed a jump and slid down the wall. The pastel purple and blue colours of the drawing matched the bed covers and curtains, while most of the furniture was grey. 

‘Is this killerkat? The one from your online handle?’

‘Yes, according to Alluka and Nanika who painted it, they say it’s me, my catsona.’ 

Gon nodded in agreement, it felt very appropriate, had the colours Killua liked and a cool not realistic style. Its expression really reminded Gon of Killua’s grins. 

‘Don’t nod! You should be defending me here!’

‘From what? It looks just like you.’

Killua rolled his eyes. ‘Illumi was right, friends are overrated.’ 

‘Who’s Illumi?’

‘My creepy oldest brother, it was a joke.’

‘Oh, I knew that, you love this painting don’t you?’

Killua levelled Gon with a look. ‘I will not dignify this with an answer.’

Gon giggled. ‘Yup, called it.’

‘Let’s try to plan the essay before dinner,’ Killua changed the subject. He turned his back to Gon, probably to hide a pout. ‘Armchair or bed?’ he asked.

Gon looked at him confused. 

‘Where do you want to sit?’

‘I guess bed.’ 

Killua took his book and curled in the armchair. 

A bit like a cat, Gon couldn’t help but notice. 

##  **___**

An evening with Killua did more for Gon's ability to brainstorm and outline an essay than years with Knov. Despite being snarky about it, Killua actually explained writing techniques, like how to structure the text and how to choose which ideas to include. For the first time ever Gon felt that he had a path to follow when he was going to work on it at the weekend. 

They took a break for dinner with the whole family. Gotoh prepared a three-course meal. The food was nice but the atmosphere was crazy, reminiscent of the school cafeteria, Gon observed it fascinated. Everyone teased everyone else without exception, while the cats, Hatsu and Zetsu, wandered around and on the table stealing food from time to time. They pushed it down to the dog sometimes too in cute interspecies solidarity. The siblings also stole food from each other's plates, it was pure chaos and after about ten minutes Gon joined in and no one minded. 

When they finished, Alluka and Nanika put on coats to walk Mike. 

‘Are you coming with us?’ Nanika asked when they noticed Kalluto dressing too.

‘A bit, but then I’m going to meet the troupe for rehearsal.’

‘Please call me when you need a ride home,’ Gotoh said. 

‘Yeah, I will.’

The three of them plus the dog walked out. 

Killua barely said goodbye to them and that surprised Gon. Minutes earlier Killua’d been in a great mood.

‘Killua, don’t stress out about it. Kalluto always comes back early,’ Gotoh said calmly.

Killua snorted. ‘I still don’t trust that Chrollo weirdo, he acts like some cult leader and always looks like he’s high. He is the president of a school drama club, but he calls it the “theatre troupe”, how pretentious is that? Tell me I’m wrong.’

Gotoh adjusted his glasses. ‘Yes, the young Lucifer doesn’t inspire trust, but Kalluto is responsible and they can take care of themself.’

‘If he hurts them I’ll gut him.’ Killua sounded so serious that it took Gon aback. 

‘Killua,’ Gotoh looked nervously to Gon.

‘Whatever.’ Killua turned on his heel and ran upstairs. 

‘Are you okay?’ Gon asked as he ran after him.

‘Mostly, but that troupe business pisses me off, especially when it happens in the evening and at night. Kalluto hardly knows them.’

‘They’ll be fine,’ Gon took Killua’s hand and squeezed it, mirroring the soothing behaviour from the restaurant. ‘And if something happens I’ll go with you, to beat Chrollo up.’

Killua looked at their joint hands and then at Gon. A frown marked his forehead for a brief moment, then he turned away and mumbled. ‘Thank you, sorry for being weird.’ He squeezed Gon’s hand back and then took his away to open the door to his bedroom.

‘It’s fine, after the restaurant I thought being weird together is okay between us.’ Gon dropped on the bed and grinned at Killua, who snorted and grinned back at him.

‘Good point.’

‘So what are these small striped flags you have on the wall, you have them also as pins on your backpack.’

‘I thought we were supposed to strategise now.’

‘We will, I’m just curious what the flags mean, I mean apart from the rainbow one, that’s the gay flag, right?’

‘Yeah, that’s right. They’re all pride flags, for different types of queer sexualities and gender expressions, this one is for gay people…’ He started pointing to the flags. ‘For trans people, nonbinary people, asexual people, lesbians, aromantic people, bi people, pan people, intersex people, and this one is for the queer people.’

Gon pondered, he didn’t know what some of those words meant, but he felt it’d be better to just google and not annoy Killua with asking for explanations. 

‘So, these are all things you… eee… call yourself?’

Killua rolled his eyes and laughed. ‘No dummy, I identify as gay and queer, because I’m not super masculine in my expression and that’s a whole can of worms even among gay people. But I have all of them to show that I’m an ally to them. You know that I see and support them. Like you know, Kalluto uses the they/them pronoun that means they identify as nonbinary, so I want to show to my sibling that I love them and support them, that kind of stuff.’

‘Oh, that’s really cool.’

‘Thanks.’ Killua blushed.

##  **____**

Canary ‘reserved’ them a table in the corner of the cafeteria to make recording a bit easier, despite the noise of the lunch break. She had a pretty good mic so she didn’t worry too much, she’d already done interviews in these conditions.

Zushi looked stressed, he fidgeted and looked around, specifically turned his head towards the table where Gon was sitting.

‘Would you prefer it if Gon was here?’ Canary asked, ready to get up and fetch the football captain.

‘No, I mean,’ Zushi said and stopped, he let his head hang. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t want to seem distracted.’

‘It’s fine.’ Canary smiled reassuringly. ‘It's your first interview, it makes sense you’re a bit stressed.’

He nodded, but sneaked another peak at Gon.

‘I just…’ He broke off again. ‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Sure.’

‘It’s actually not related to football, but you write about the school, you probably know more about it than other people.’

‘One could say that.’ She might have smirked, not her humblest moment but the boy tickled her ego. She considered herself well versed in how the school worked. She knew the official school rules by heart, had some information on the relationships among the staff, and she kept track of the student factions. Thus she felt more than ready to help the younger boy out with any question.

‘Do you think Killua is really gay?’ 

So he had to ask one she’d have never anticipated in a million years. Canary frowned.

‘Isn’t he open about that fact? Why would he lie about being gay?’

‘I don’t know. I’m just surprised because my teammates and some other people say really awful things about him.’

‘Yes, I’ve noticed.’ 

‘They’ve been saying how that table is for absolute losers, but now so many people are sitting there, even before Gon started to sit there.’

‘Do you think gay people are losers?’ She may have hit record a while earlier, the homophobia at school still seemed like a last resort big topic, the scary Zoldyck clan be damned. That table had been stirring quite a controversy at school. How first the drama club - by many considered outcasts and losers themselves - joined their table with the ‘gay table’, and now with the most popular kid in school sitting there every day. Strength in numbers was one thing, of course, a group of over 20 people looked less like a target than just the 4 siblings. That only put them in the category of ‘better leave alone’ for most school factions, though not people as socially well positioned as the football team. Especially when there were a few basketball players hanging with the thespians. The two teams had shared a bit of a rivalry as to who was the school’s biggest pride and joy for the last six years or so. The presence of Gon complicated the dynamic though. What if the new group wasn’t just better left ignored, what if it was actually cool? The table drew her in, she wasn’t going to lie to herself. She wavered, however, because she could still end up writing about them. In that case being an impartial observer would serve as an advantage in the eyes of those reviewing her work. The teens at that table were her people, though, queer like her, and the Zoldyck twins were two of the cutest girls she’d ever seen. Professionalism or community and connection, she’d been facing this dilemma for the last three weeks. 

‘Oh, absolutely not!’ Zushi blabbered out, mortified she could suspect him of that. ‘But that’s what Leol and Cheetu say. Gon says I shouldn’t pay them much attention.’

‘He’s right, they’re idiots,’ Canary said. 

‘They seem confused, you know, because they still call Killua and other people who sit with him names, but they don’t do it to Gon. Why does Gon get a pass?’

You want to sit there, don’t you? Canary thought. Interesting. 

‘Gon’s popular paradoxically because he doesn’t care much about such things as popularity, or cliques, or rivalries and intrigues. He’s naturally got some stuff that’ll elevate you in high school, namely looks and athletic aptitude. He’s also got pretty good grades, so he’s self-sufficient. His skills elevated him to the quarterback position, so a school star.’ Her tone may have got a bit know-it-all as she was making her point.

Zushi was listening to her, fully focused on her explanation. He nodded from time to time, agreeing with her assessment.

‘All these things would give him some level of popularity on their own, but the main ingredient is that he doesn’t care. He’s approachable, easy to talk to and does whatever he thinks is right, the opinion of the likes of Leol holds no sway over him.’

‘Yes, this is all true.’

‘That’s the secret, and that’s why he gets a pass as you call it.’

‘So I wouldn’t.’ He looked sad.

I was right, Canary thought.

‘Why would you want to sit there?’

‘Oh, it just looks fun, they’re laughing a lot and at the team’s table the conversations are..’

‘Obscene, stupid, boring?’ She helped him out.

He nodded, but didn’t say anything. 

‘I think you should just sit there like you belong there. Sit next to Gon in the beginning, he’s your captain so why wouldn’t you hang out with him.’

His thick brows came closer together as he was analysing her words. 

‘Now, I do need from you at least a few sentences about the upcoming match, before the break ends.’

‘Oh, yes, I’m sorry.’

‘No problem.’

##  **______**

Next lunch break Zushi was already sitting with Gon at the table formerly nicknamed as the losers’ table. Now people had no idea how to refer to it. 

Gon had led the Whales to a spectacular victory before the weekend and Zushi's stellar first game performance catapulted him to popularity. Both of them stood very securely at the top of the school’s food chain. Canary could sense the confusion in the air, the hierarchy was reforming and the students were waiting to see into what. Some people were gazing longingly at the now puzzling table, but they probably didn’t know anyone sitting there. Besides it was packed, joining would require squeezing in. 

Yes, she had been considering it, maybe too much even, they were her people after all, the gays, the queers, the other. Maybe not now, not anymore, since so many people joined in, but a lot of them were originally. 

She had no table she felt she belonged to. The paper comprised several people who wrote for it pretty regularly and a mishmash of creators who jumped in now and then. Regardless if they contributed to each issue or just once a semester, all of them had their own social circles and the paper was an afterthought to them, just something to put on their college application. The teachers had certain expectations about the content so Canary could see how the lack of creative control discouraged the students. 

First and foremost school’s accomplishments were supposed to get covered. Sports took up a significant part of every issue - it helped that they could just include many photos and only a bit of text - Canary wrote about the football and track teams, Amane about the basketball and volleyball ones. Thanks to Mr Bine their robotics team was steadily improving so Canary talked one of its members, Ikalgo, to report on their progress. Initially she needed to edit his texts a lot, but after over a year of cooperation he developed a solid style. Chrollo graced them each month with some pretentious drivel either about the play his club was staging or about acting and theatre in general. Because he deemed his writing art, Canary left the editing to Ms. Cluck. Another regular feature was Ponzu writing about the environment, biodiversity and veganism. Apart from that the paper also published original art and writing of various students. Under that last category she had managed to include her huge story from last year. 

‘What will it be for you?’ Mr. Mizai from the cafeteria asked her.

Her excuse for analysing the seating choices of her peers disappeared, her turn to order came, no more idling in line. 

With the full tray in hand she still faced the dilemma of where to sit. She usually scheduled interviews or other paper related meetings for the lunch break precisely for this reason, not to look aimless. Not to think about what school faction to join. She wished to remain above the fray, impartial, but that stood uncomfortably close to isolation. She knew she could become Gon’s close friend, he’d let her in, he already treated her with warmth and familiarity. Giving in to that relationship tempted her, while the desire to remain professional held her back. The football captain was her regular interviewee, she shouldn’t get personal with him.

Paper related stuff, paper related stuff. Canary looked around.

Alone in the middle of the cafeteria sat Palm Siberia, Canary directed her steps there. 

‘Hi, Palm’ she said, taking a seat opposite the other senior. ‘I don’t know if you remember me, last year we had English together.’ She wanted to add “with that asshole Knov” but she bit her tongue in time, because she remembered that the most disliked teacher in school acted surprisingly decently towards Palm.

‘Hi.’ The answer came after a moment of hesitation. ‘I do remember, you’re Canary. You had an A+.’

‘So did you, and that was a hell of an achievement, high five.’ Canary raised her hand above the trays. 

Palm’s eyes grew wide as she stared at the hand in the air.

‘Are you going to leave me hanging?’

‘Nnn, no.’ She apprehensively touched Canary’s fingers. 

‘I’m doing the journalism class this year, for the English credit, and Cluck promoted me to editor of Whale Magazine. You know, from just contributor in the previous years.’

‘Oh, congratulations.’

The intensity of Palm’s eyes made it hard to stay cool, for a brief moment Canary forgot what she actually came to do. Palm had a reputation of a weirdo and an outcast, the students would sometimes spread malicious rumors about a downward spiral to insanity she was supposedly on. Apparently in freshman year she used to dress like a typical teen, jeans, leggings, t-shirts and sweatshirts, that sort of stuff. Canary didn’t recall her from that period so she couldn’t really tell if that was true. If it was, however, she had clearly undergone some massive transformation. Now her long black hair formed a tight bun on her head, matching the large sweater and the ankle length skirt she was wearing, both dark brown. With the white shirt’s collar and cuffs sticking out from under the sweater she looked like she came straight from a 19th century all-girls school.

‘Thanks,’ Canary said. ‘I actually have paper-related business, you see we have a creative corner in the paper, students publish their art there.’ Canary pulled out her phone and pulled up the pdf of the coming issue on the screen, she scrolled to the right section. ‘See? We have drawings, photos, comics and original writing.’ She showed it to Palm. 

‘Okay?’ Palm looked at the phone.

‘I remember you reading your poetry in class, it was great. That ‘Mermaid’ poem, styled like a romantic ballad? Chilling and so well crafted.’

‘You remember it, the particular poem?’

‘Of course, how could I have forgotten such great writing?’

Palm just blushed in response. 

‘So, I was thinking, maybe you’d want to publish something in the Whale Magazine, I know it’s not much, but we’d be honoured.’

‘I don’t know, you think people would like it?’

‘To be absolutely honest with you I have no idea how many people read it, but you’re really good, much better than some of the stuff we’ve already published.’

For a moment silence hung between them, Palm fidgeted with her fork. 

‘You’re so open and honest,’ she said finally. 

‘Why wouldn’t I be? It’s a school paper not a literary magazine, but I want to feel that I’m doing my job as an editor well, so of course I’ll scout for the best possible contributors. And maybe you can include this in your college essay.’

‘People often say that they’re just being honest when they say cruel things.’

‘That’s true, they use it as a shield for their asshole behaviour.’

‘Yeah.’

‘So, what do you say to becoming a contributor in the Whale Mag?’

‘I think…’ Palm waivered, ‘I think it’d be nice, I’m just not sure which poem would be best.’

‘We could meet and choose something together, I can also send you the past issues, so you can see what we’ve already published.’

‘Yes, thank you.’

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone reading this, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, tell me what you think :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua is sent to the principal's office. Canary visits Palm.

Having Gon on board made the whole breaking the rules endeavour easier, and unquestionably more fun. This way another person knew and he had someone to share his victory with. The satisfaction would be all the greater because Knov actually mistreated Gon. Killua's grudge came purely from his principles, but his new best friend deserved to be avenged for the injustices he had endured. Apart from Alluka and Nanika, Gon was the first genuinely good person Killua had ever met and he grew protective of his new friend very fast. 

Knov was pacing in the front of the classroom, talking about how he graded their first essays of the school year, before handing them out. 

'Palm, as always an excellent job, at least you have a bright future ahead of you,' he said looking directly into her eyes. The girl fidgeted under the look while her face turned red. 'The rest of you.' Knov turned to the class. 'I see many of you desire to join the staff of the local fast food shops, let me tell you, you're on the right track.' 

Killua rolled his eyes. 

Knov went between the desks to give back the papers, taking jabs at most students. 

‘Surprisingly adequate work, Mr Freecss, I suspected that you finally bullied some nerd to write for you, like all your meathead buddies, but this still has your style, if one can call it that.’

Killua tried not to snort too loudly. What an asshole, he thought. 

Knov got to Killua last. He put the paper in front of him without a word.

‘An F! How?!’ Killua said.

‘Mr Zoldyck, the student debt crisis is a true tragedy, my heart bleeds, but this doesn’t mean you should give money to some starving undergrad to write your essays for you.’

‘Excuse me?!’ Killua used all of his will not to say “fuck” at least twice in that sentence or end it with “you asshole”. He also prevented himself from getting up.

‘This is college grade writing, and everyone knows how people like you get into colleges, and graduate from them. I promise to give you a D, regardless of how idiotic and misspelled the paper will be, if you bother to write it yourself.’

Killua summoned all his strength to emulate Illumi’s deadpan look and voice. He hated himself for how he sounded, but he couldn’t curse out a teacher and then throw hands with him like he wanted to do. ‘I wrote this paper myself.’

‘There is no way you can prove that, and I won’t be intimidated by your parents’ lawyers.’

He was boiling inside, but he’d rather die than let that fucking asshole have his way. ‘I can if I write an essay during class. You can choose any topic out of all our assigned reading for this semester,’ Killua said through his teeth while looking Knov dead in the eye. 

Knov clicked his lips. ‘This is a school, not a circus, one failed stunt is enough. You can take your objections to the principal's office, young man. And discuss them there.’

‘Right now?’ Killua asked, wanting to be sure he was in the clear to leave the room. 

‘Right now’, Knov said, ‘and bring this with you.’ He handed Killua a write up form. Academic dishonesty and disrespect were both checked - another check and Killua would have automatically been assigned detention or suspended, clearly what Knov had been counting on. 

Killua wordlessly took the discipline slip, gathered his things and left the room. He knew something Knov didn't. He had to talk to principal Netero before the school year began, and the impression he got was that the principal actually liked him and would probably find this entire situation amusing.

##  **___**

Killua’s hand hurt when he left the classroom. He hadn’t written an essay by hand since primary school. Even though principal Netero decided on something that could be finished within two hours, not to waste too much of everyone’s time, Killua still ended with almost four pages of text. It took the two English teachers another half an hour to grade it. 

He saw Gon waiting for him a bit further down the hall, he was talking to a very pretty girl. They were laughing and smiling at each other. Killua didn’t know why he felt a bit disappointed seeing this. Maybe because Gon’s relationships with his team mates looked superficial. But someone like Gon was bound to have other friends, real ones. A super sweet girlfriend made perfect sense too.

‘Oh, you’re out.’ Gon also noticed him and ran up. ‘How did it go?’ 

‘Fine, Knov changed the F to an A. He was very unhappy about it.’ Killua smirked.

‘Yesss.’ Gon cheered but he kept his voice down. ‘Come, I want to introduce you to someone.’

He led Killua towards the girl who by this time managed to actually get into one of the classrooms. 

‘This is Canary.’

‘Hi.’ The girl offered her hand for Killua to shake. 

He did. ‘Hi, I’m Killua. Why are we hiding here?’

‘Because Cluck is the school paper’s advisor and she wouldn’t think it’s a good idea to write about teachers who put down students and are unprofessional. I didn’t want her to see me here talking to you, because she’ll know I’m up to something.’

Killua nodded, Cluck was the other teacher who checked his essay. 

‘So you’re from that school paper and you’d like to interview me about Knov.’

‘Exactly. He’s not the only teacher who oversteps, but none of the other teachers has ever acted like this!.’ 

‘I don’t know, I don’t want to draw too much attention to myself.’ Killua wasn’t sure how much Gon told her about their plan to break Knov’s rules. 

‘I can’t promise you anonymity since you’re the only one he’d pushed this far, but I’d really want your account of what happened. Just facts you don’t have to give any opinions. I’ll write the opinion parts myself.’ Canary smiled at him. ‘I’ll also show the piece to you before it goes to print.’ 

‘I think it’d be good if the paper writes about this,’ Gon said. ‘The way Knov treated you was horrible, and you’re a new student! He did that to humiliate you in public.’

‘He generally gets off on humiliating others, he talks down to everyone in that class, except from his little fav girl Palm.’

‘So it’s time for some spotlight to be shone on him,’ Canary said. ‘Knov escalated the situation with you to the point it reached the principal, but in the case of most people he just insults them, and grades them unfairly. And they will try to keep it under wraps if you let them.’

Between her lovely smile and Gon’s puppy eyes Killua felt he didn’t have much choice. He also agreed with them on principle, he did worry about his main revenge plan though. Especially that it got very personal now, both on Killua’s side and Knov’s. 

‘Okay. I’ll give you my number and we’ll do the interview.’

‘Thank you!’ She shook his hand again. 

##  **___**

Canary kissed Gon the cheek before she went and he reciprocated, but the behaviour didn’t scream romantic, more friendly. Killua was embarrassed that he managed to over analyse the whole situation, but he couldn’t help himself. He’d brought this on himself by offering Gon the bed to sit on. Now Gon sprawled on it every time he visited and that fueled Killua’s imagination and dreams, because he knew all too well how his super handsome new friend would look on his bed. He could have offered Gon a chair, like a normal person, but he wanted to be a good host, so he offered something more comfortable. Killua’s brain enjoyed getting back at him for it. 

‘How do you know Canary?’ Killua asked when they got to his house. Talking while skateboarding after the bike wasn’t very convenient. 

‘She’s my friend. We went to middle school together. She’s always been very outspoken and now she runs the paper. She covers the team too, so we talk regularly.’ Again Gon landed on Killua’s bed, like a cruel joke. A self imposed mockery. Gon’s sweatshirt ran up a bit as he stretched exposing a line of toned stomach. Killua was begging his brain to stop thinking about it.

‘I get it, you’re worried if you can trust her. I think you can, I do. But I also haven’t told her about the list. That’s between us and she doesn’t have to know unless you want her to,’ Gon continued. 

‘Nah, the more people know the more likely gossip will start. I mean our classmates may get onto us anyway, once we do the more ridiculous stuff.’ Killua pulled his knees to his chin when he curled up on the armchair. 

‘I wonder if they already have. But I like that this is just between us.’ Gon smiled and stuck out his tongue. ‘We should go for the less attention catching stuff for now, though, at least for the next week.’

Killua hid his face a bit more behind his knees. Too cute, he thought. 

‘Agreed. I’ll try reading or doing stuff for other classes.’

‘We could also try to copy homework, though I’m not sure how that would even work for English class.’

‘Nah, I think that’s done. I wasn’t accused of academic dishonesty and didn’t write an extra essay on a timer to have nothing to show for it. My hand still hurts. I say as far as copying homework goes that works.’

‘Good point. This brings the total of broken rules…’ He went silent for a moment. ‘Up to five: food, gum, drink, headphones and now homework. Not bad.’ He grinned. ‘Next week we could also try texting each other.’

‘Yeah texting could work. So either something with books or notebooks, or the phone is the plan for next week then.’ Killua reached for his backpack. ‘We’ll read some now and when my sisters are done with their stuff Nanika will gladly dominate in GIT again, if you want to join us for that.’

Gon sighed. ‘Not my preferred order of things, but it works.’ He also took out his book. 

##  **___**

‘Nice to meet you, Canary.’ The man’s voice had a very formal cadence to it. ‘I’m Pastor Siberia, and this is my wife, Mary.’

The whole set-up made Canary think of a tv show from the 50s. The pastor was wearing a shirt and vest at home, while Palm’s mother sported a blouse and skirt under an apron. The only people Canary had seen in an apron were her grandmas and grandaunts, who all had to be at least 20 years older than the woman in front of her. 

‘Pleased to meet you, Sir.’ she nodded at him, feeling both awkward and ridiculous that she had no idea how to curtsy, as the situation seemed to call for it. ‘Madam.’ She nodded again. When she raised her eyes to look at them again they smiled at her with benevolent approval, apparently the nods sufficed. 

‘You’ll have two hours, girls, for the History project. We have dinner at 5 sharp, because Palm has violin practice at 6.’

‘Of course.’ Canary didn’t even flinch, despite Palm not telling her that she’d been invited under false pretences. With a family like that it made sense, these parents didn’t give off an even remotely chill vibe. A thought crossed her mind that luckily she was wearing a skirt today, so her presentation was girly, despite the suspenders. 

‘I hope you like meat pie, Canary.’ Palm’s mum smiled in a way that seemed all too well practiced.

‘Love it,’ Canary replied despite having been vegetarian since sophomore year. That stuff was not going to fly here, as it didn’t at her grandmas’ during the holidays. She was going to ask for a small piece due to dieting and then volunteer at a shelter to calm her conscience. 

The whole situation unsettled her, the atmosphere reminded her of the beginning of a horror story. Was she like one of those clueless protagonists who go in deeper despite the warning signs? She mused as she followed Palm up the stairs. 

‘I should have warned you, just my parents, they don’t approve of social visits.’

‘The paper is also a school project.’

‘But not a mandatory one, besides my parents don’t really like all my poetry, only the religious ones. And I don’t know what poems you’ll like.’

‘I want to see different types.’ Canary kneeled on the floor beside Palm, who pulled notebooks from under the bed. ‘Didn’t your parents like the “Mermaid” ballad?’ 

‘I haven’t shown it to them.’

‘Despite getting an A+ for it, and praise from Knov which practically never happens?’

‘As long as my grades are good my parents don’t care about the details. Especially when it comes to English.’ 

That tracked, the father looked like one to only demand and never support, while the mother likely had little to no say in Palm’s upbringing. 

Canary concentrated on looking through the notebooks. Some had flowers on the covers, but others coffins and skulls. In the meantime Palm got to her desk, Canary thought that she wanted to pull out the history stuff, as cover. Indeed Palm did just that, but she also put a notebook with a cross and dove on the pile with the other ones.

The religious poetry, Canary thought, the only one she keeps in open view.

Flower notebooks contained poems on various subjects: nature, school and love, Canary scanned through the titles and first lines. 

When she reached for the first notebook with skulls Palm touched her wrist.

‘These are… I call them my emotions notebooks,’ she said looking at Canary apprehensively. ‘I… I used to…’ Her eyes wandered around the room, from Canary, to the notebooks, to the mirror on the wall. ‘I have a reputation at school, I used to have outbursts. At home too. My parents sent me to a summer camp after freshman year. It was recommended by our church. It was for teenagers with problems.’

‘Did you feel better after it?’ Canary asked to encourage her, though she had a very bad feeling about where that story was about to go.

‘A bit. They had me sit in wet clothes and pray, to cool my anger. That was really hard.’

No shit! Canary wanted to yell, but she refrained, she had to know more.

‘I also tried sitting in a dark room, the camp leader said it’ll take away the distractions and help me focus on God, but I really just got more distracted.’

‘So far I don’t see how it helped you.’

‘Learning to sew and darn, or cook, that worked, I didn’t have time to be angry.’

Oh, now we have to become friends, because I need to learn the name of this miraculous facility and tell the police all about it. 

‘But it didn’t go completely away. Especially when I was back at school.’

‘I see.’

‘But in sophomore year I met Mr Konv, and he..’ Palm looked at Canary with such intensity that Canary instinctively moved away. ‘He’s such a good person. He talked to me and told me to write out my anger and all other emotions I don’t want anymore. And that helps to get them out of my head, more than cooking, though I love to cook too.’

‘So these notebooks are the emotions you write out?’

‘Yes,’ Palm stroked the covers. ‘A lot of them are bad, you know not only negative, but the writing is bad. But some, some are good. It’s hard for me to reread them, they’re scary sometimes. He’s right, however, the ones he liked, I liked too.’

Canary had never heard anyone speak about Knov with this much enthusiasm, and so positively. Just hours after she’d convinced Killua to an interview about the English teacher’s maliciousness. The cognitive dissonance of it had Canary’s head spinning.

‘Are you sure you want me to see them?’ she asked before picking the notebook up.

‘Yes, I really do, Canary. Mr Knov has always said that my poetry is special and that my school mates would never be interested in it, or get it. But you… you remembered my poem, its title, what it’s about… you have no idea how much this means to me. And I think that maybe… I mean I think Mr Knov is mostly right, but maybe there’ll be at least one more person like you, someone who’ll like it, who’ll remember it.’

Responsibility, dread, curiosity, which one of these feelings hit Canary the most in that moment? She wasn’t sure at all. Maybe awareness of the gravity of the situation best described her emotional state. 

If she played her cards right she could write a piece on the two sides of Knov, the absolute asshole and a kind guide who helped a student in need. That would also exploit the trust Palm put in her. 

‘Can I take these? I won’t be able to read through them all now, dinner’s in an hour.’

‘Oh, yes. Take all of these.’ She pointed at the skulls and flowers. ‘You just need to read this one now, it has to stay.’ She handed Canary the dove notebook.

‘Figures, I’ll get on it.’ She took it and started reading. Technically it didn’t stand out from the rest, Palm could compose a poem well regardless of the topic, though thematically it was very bland. Nothing in there could displease Palm’s parents, or excite Canary enough to print it. 

From time to time she glanced at her backpack and the unexpected treasure it now hid. She couldn’t wait to get back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter, tell me what you think. :D
> 
> Palm is a character very poorly treated by Togashi in canon. He turns her into comic relief when there are very dark themes and undertones surrounding her and I'm not talking about the obvious thing aka her forcing Gon to date her. The pathological nature of the date is clear despite the questionable comedy the canon wraps it in. But the way Palm is, and the way Knov manipulates her is in itself very dark. Writing this I wanted to imagine a family Palm could come from and I thought it would have been a very cold family, one that doesn't cater to her emotional need in the slightest.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon is getting more and more irritated with his team.  
> Meet Canary's family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun coming up with Canary's family for this fic. I know in canon she's an orphan coming from Meteor city, but that wouldn't work well in this setting. Here she's a normal teen girl going to school in a good neighbourhood. 
> 
> **Gon's team is being really hateful and obnoxious in this chapter so warning for slurs and tasteless behaviour.**

'University scouts will be at the next game, Gon,' coach Bisky reminded him after practice. 'I think they'll be stupid not to offer you and Meruem a scholarship.' She patted him on the shoulder. 

'Thank you, coach.'

They were walking towards the locker room when they heard yelling coming from the stands. 

Bisky sighed. 'What are those idiots up to again,' she said exasperated and stomped towards the small gathering of Gon's teammates.

'Give us your phone, fag!' Cheetu was yelling at someone not visible from behind the backs of six large football players in full gear. The other guys backed him up with a chorus of yeses. 

Gon's heart sunk, because he was supposed to meet with Killua after practice and go home together. He couldn't understand why his teammates reacted to his new best friend with such hostility. In the course of the last four weeks he had learned many new slurs and he hadn't enjoyed that one bit. 

'What's this nonsense?' Bisky shouted in her coach voice and the teens went silent. 'Who took your phone, Cheetu?'

'Oh, coach, no. This homo perv was filming us play, to beat off later.'

'Please,' Bisky snorted and rolled her eyes at them. 'I film you play regularly, and let me tell you, few things are less arousing than watching you oafs fuck up one pass after another.' 

'Coach, he's gay at us all the time,' Welfin backed Cheetu up, there was also a general murmur of agreememt. 

'What does it even mean!' Killua said. 'I've never tried to interact with any of you losers. If you can't stop thinking about me that's a you problem!'

'Who said we're thinking about you, fag!'

'Oi! No language like that. Say you're sorry, Leol,' Bisky said. 

'Sorry, gay boy, better?'

'Not much.' Bisky glowered at him. 

'Actually you always bring him up,' Gon was thinking out loud. 'So it means you're thinking about him a lot.' 

'Whose side are you on, Gon? Has he converted you?'

Gon wanted to ask, “converted to what?”, but he didn’t get to because Bisky spoke first.

'It's not how that works.' She facepalmed. 'The lack of sex ed is tragic.'

'Whatever, can’t he just be gay elsewhere? With the rest of the freaks?'

'That's it. I told you to tone down the language. Tomorrow's practice starts with an extra five laps.'

'Coach, no! Why?!' General grumbling erupted. 

'I warned you. It'll give you time to meditate on your word choices.'

Gon felt it was fair, even though he was included in the collective punishment along with other uninvolved players. 

'Now off you go to change,' she shooed them away. The teens reluctantly walked to the locker room.

'Oi, Zoldyck, I've seen you run and I know you can lift your own weight at the gym. Would you like to play for me?'

'With them? No way.'

'Sigh, I thought so, but I had to ask.' she waved at Gon and walked away. 

'I'm sorry Killua,' Gon said. 

'Not your fault. I'll wait for you in front of the school.'

'Great, l'll be out soon.'

##  **___**

‘Five extra laps, that’s so unfair,’ Leol was whining in the locker room. ‘And we didn’t even get to see what the freak was doing on his phone.’

‘Probably playing a game, that’s what he usually does,’ Gon said coming in and taking off his gear. 

‘Why do you hang out with that freak, you even sit with him in the cafeteria.’

‘He’s not a freak, he’s my friend and he’s helping me with English and Math.’ Some of the guys nodded in understanding, more than a few of them struggled with one subject or another. ‘Besides I like to sit at that table, it’s lively and many different people come, like Killua’s siblings who are all fun. It’s just nice.’

‘Honestly I’m thinking of sitting at that table too,’ Meleoron said.

‘What? Are you going homo too?’ 

‘No, there are far more chicks at that table than ever sat at ours.’

‘He’s got a point,’ Meruem said. ‘I’ve noticed that too. , Zushi’s already picked up on that, he’s so quiet but he’s quick to put two and two together, still water runs deep.’

‘Indeed, clever boy our little Zushi. Homecoming’s next week, time to grace some ladies with some invitations, in exchange for somemthin somethin,’ Welfin chimed in.

‘Nasty,’ Colt levelled his teammate with a look. 

‘Relax, we know Reina is off limits.’ Leol raised his hands defensively. ‘Besides she’s not a slut.’

‘Freecss, you dog, now I get it!’ Cheetu yelled startling Gon who was trying to tune out the conversation. ‘You want to tap the hot twins, you go, you go.’ He slapped Gon on the ass. 

‘Can you imagine fucking the twins, especially at the same time? Hot!’

‘Could you please not,’ Gon said, but a wave of various approving noises drowned him out. He stomped to the showers annoyed. 

‘Oh this reminds me of the porn with twins I watched last week,’ Leol said. ‘I’ll link it in the group chat...’

Thankfully Gon couldn’t hear the rest once the water started flowing. 

##  **___**

After practice his whole body was sore. Bisky hadn't only made them run more. She’d pushed them much harder than usual, his teammates must have really pissed her off yesterday. 

Maybe that made the boys drop the topic of Killua. But more probably they started to approve of it because they thought Gon wanted to date Alluka or Nanika. The thought had never crossed his mind even. 

He lay on his bed and scrolled through his phone. It all got him wondering. Why did the thought of romancing one of the twins feel so alien to him? He enjoyed spending time with them, they were both pretty great, just like Killua. 

He'd had girlfriends before, but truth be told he'd never asked any of them out himself. And the one time he’d tried he got turned down. 

In middle school he kind of dated Shizuku. Now she attended the same school as he did, but back then she hadn't. They met at a nature and science summer camp. They spent a lot of time together and other kids called them a couple. Later they exchanged letters for a while. Gon enjoyed writing them. It dissipated over time, the letters came more rarely and then stopped. When he met Shizuku in high school a year later she hardly recognized him. 

In the first year of high school he met Palm. They had a few classes together and talked during the breaks. After a few months she asked him out. He didn't recall it too fondly. He organised these elaborate dates for her but she clearly wanted something else from him. They didn't vibe at all. Her mood fluctuated a lot and in the end after a month or so it was too exhausting to continue. 

Some time later Machi asked him out. She very openly declared that she was doing that only because her friends Phinks and Shalnark bet her a month of math homework that she would fail, since Gon already back then was one of the most popular kids at school. Gon respected her honesty and the shenanigans seemed too good to pass up. So for several weeks whenever people from the drama club passed by, or Phinks' buddies from the basketball team, Gon and Machi held hands or did some other couply stuff. They didn't have to pretend to have fun together, because talking with her came easily to him, once he learned about her sewing hobby. When they made sure Phinks and Shalnark bought their charade and paid up Gon and Machi went their separate ways, though they remained friends. 

In his sophomore year he was paired with Reina in Mr Kite's biology class. They worked really well as lab partners. So when the time of the homecoming dance arrived she proposed they go together. Since Gon had no other person he wanted to invite he agreed and they had a great time together. For a few weeks after that they went on dates and held hands at school. Again he could plan pretty elaborate evenings for them to enjoy, but now that he thought about it coming up with ideas and pulling it off mattered more to him than who he was spending time with. After a while they broke up but remained partners in biology class, friendly towards each other. 

Gon turned onto his stomach on his bed and pulled a pillow under his chin. His feet were rhythmically kicking the bed to the music from Spotify. 

The only person he had ever asked out was Retz. He tried to think back to all those months before, the middle of junior year, and recall why he did that. What about her made him approach her? Did he have a crush on her? He was now sure he definitely didn’t have a crush on any of the other girls he had dated. Some he liked but in a very neutral way. 

Retz was unusual, interesting. She changed her style from day to day. Sometimes she wore dresses and skirts, let her long hair loose. On other days she looked practically like a boy. It drew Gon’s attention, he liked seeing how she dressed, guessing what style it would be this time.

She… Now that Gon had read up on those pride flags and the identities they represented he suddenly felt unsure if “she” applied to Retz. What if Retz wasn’t a girl at all. That would explain so much about them. 

The thought about Retz stayed with him all evening, so the following day he sat next to Retz at lunch. He had noticed that Retz became friends with Alluka and Nanika, and often shared their table. Recently Zushi joined in on their conversations a lot. 

Today Retz’s style of dress looked very similar to Alluka’s.

‘Hi,’ he said. ‘I wanted to ask you something.’

‘Hi.’ Retz looked at him cautiously.

‘Don’t worry I’m not being a persistent weirdo, I know you don’t want to go out with me.’

‘Oh, okay.’ They relaxed. ‘Ask away.’

‘I was wondering, are you maybe genderfluid? I recently read about that and it made me think about you.’

Retz giggled. ‘Honestly I’d have thought you’d be the last person to notice or ask me this,’ they said. ‘But yes, that’s true. I identify as non-binary and genderfluid.’

Gon smiled. ‘So what pronouns do you use?’

‘All of them, but preferably those that match my presentation for the day.’ 

‘Okay, makes sense.’ 

‘You’re such a strange guy,’ she said. 

##  **___**

‘Canary is in love with a teacher!’ Sparrow announced at the dinner table. 

‘How scandalous. But, Sparrow honey, eat please, the lasagna is best when warm,’ their mom said. 

‘Is it this new teacher, Menchi?’ Canary’s older brother asked. ‘My school buddy, Drew’s been a sub at your school this year and he says she has very well rounded… opinions.’

‘Everyone knows you’re talking about breasts, Jay, try better metaphors next time.’

‘Dad!’ 

‘Dad’s right. Either call the tits by their name, or don’t talk about them. Modern politics is about being genuine, loser, you’ll never get far in that senator’s office if you’re stuck in the 90s with your lame innuendos.’ Canary stuck out her tongue. ‘But then again what can you learn from working for a corporatist centrist.’

‘Look who's talking about being stuck in the 90s, miss print journalism.’ Jay made a face at her. He was back home from Washington for a month, to help reorganise the local office and to hang out with his old friends at the homecoming game. 

‘You could consider working for some progressive, Jay,’ their mum said. ‘We need more action on climate change.’

‘This again, and Robin isn’t even here. Can we go back to Canary’s sordid highschool life?’ Jay hated talking about his senator, because he probably agreed with all the criticism and didn’t want to defend the guy. Robin, their oldest sister who worked at a poverty fighting charity really got into it with him whenever they met. She was making a point of not visiting them on the weekends this month. 

‘There’s nothing to go back to, the brat is making up stuff.’

‘Your sister, Sparrow.’

‘So she can call me a loser, but Sparrow can’t be called a brat?!’

‘You’re an adult, besides as long as you work there you aren’t really a winner in our eyes.’ Mum could deliver a finishing blow in the politest of ways, that was what made her TV show so popular. 

‘I’m not making up stuff, I found your poetry.’

‘I don’t write poe… did you take one of the notebooks?! That’s not mine! You’d better hope it’s still in one piece! I have to give those back!’ Canary got up and ran to Sparrow’s room. ‘I told you a hundred times to never touch my stuff, you nosy stinkbug!’

‘Canary! I’m sorry, I thought it was yours!’ Sparrow ran after her.

‘That doesn’t make it a bit better!’ Canary found the notebook on her sister’s bedside table. ‘If I see you with my stuff again I’m going to put all your fav clothes in the donation box at Robin’s work. And now beat it!’

‘Canary!’

‘I’m not talking to you!’

She closed the door in her sister’s face then inspected the notebook. It looked fine. 

Her sister was running downstairs and calling mum, but Canary knew this was the wrong move. Their parents weren’t fond of taking other people’s stuff without asking and Sparrow’s baby status was not going to protect her here, she was 13 already.

For a second she regretted banishing Sparrow, because now she had to read through the whole notebook by herself to find the poem that clued in her sister to the identity of the crush. 

So far she had managed to get through about half the notebooks, both the light and dark ones. Palm was a prolific writer and a good one too, not all the poems reached greatness but all spoke to some deeper more visceral feelings, even the bad ones. Canary had to pace herself through the skull notebooks, sometimes the content hit painfully hard. She was actually glad Sparrow found a flowery one, because those usually remained safe for work with their imagery, and even if not they just went into mild eroticism. Unlike the other ones that could venture into very twisted thoughts, talked about abuse and even openly described suicidal fantasies. 

At first Canary thought it all circled back to Palm’s family, their borderline fanatical views on the world. The more she read it though, the more it seemed that Palm’s crush had a dark underbelly too. The picture in her mind was still blurry and she felt like the Pepe Silva meme. If she was reading the poems correctly Palm’s crush had turned into a relationship at some point. The impression of the man she’d got so far was that he had more control over the relationship than Palm, he was probably older and more experienced. He was also manipulating and controlling Palm, even though in Canary’s estimation the teen didn’t understand it. Like with her family trauma, she packed it away into the poems. Unlike with her parents, though, she held the man in high regard, and definitely loved him. 

A teacher would fit the bill perfectly, would follow the disturbing logic of it all. A predator hiding in plain sight. She dreaded the conclusion her mind was jumping to. Her big story… what if there wasn’t a bright side to him. What if one side was dark and the other even darker. So far she had only tested the waters, she had to go all in on this however, to write it in time. That meant putting pressure on Killua who owed her an interview, and he kept postponing it. She couldn’t stay on the sidelines anymore, because as an outsider looking in she had no leverage. Participant observation, as her dad’d called it, was in order, she needed to take a seat at the table, literally. While at the same time she had to get a confirmation from Palm. 

The notebook in her hand felt like it weighed a ton, Canary hesitated. What would it all mean for Palm, in the end? 

A knock on the door made her put down the notebook. 

Family drama came as a relief. Canary did think her mum was a little nuts with all her eco stuff, and her dad lived in his intellectual university bubble. Robin would behave holier than thou far too often, Jay desperately wanted to be cool while becoming more mainstream every day, and Sparrow well she was a typical middle schooler. Canary’d thought she’d seen what a bad family looked like when she’d written about Neon Nostrade. How wrong she had been. 

‘Canary, can I come in?’ her dad asked.

‘Yeah, sure.’

‘I brought you your dinner. We talked to Sparrow, she’s really sorry.’

‘Yeah, I know, I’ll make up with her. Maybe at the weekend.’

‘Isn’t that too long? It’ll be after you go shopping for the dress for the dance and she was looking forward to going with you and Mum.’ 

‘Pfft.’ Canary rolled her eyes. ‘Fine tomorrow.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel Bisky and Canary's mum are the highlights of this chapter. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Tell me what you think :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homecoming dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i enjoyed this chapter because i got to imagine everyone's outfits for the dance. thank you subdee for telling me that a dance like this exists :D

The incident with coach Kruger made the football team less interested in going after Killua. They ignored him most of the time, which he initially welcomed. However their interest actually shifted to staring at his sisters. Killua was not going to police who his siblings dated, it was not his or anyone's place, but to his knowledge Alluka had no interest in guys, and Nanika while biromantic was ace, not something a horny teen idiot was likely to understand or respect. He worried the snubbed guys might get aggressive so he preemptively tried to spread an overprotective big brother aura. The twins' physical safety didn't concern him too much, they knew enough krav maga to protect themselves, Illumi made sure of that. Killua wanted to shield their emotional wellbeing. They had suffered enough verbal abuse from their parents, they didn't need more from their peers. 

Getting close to his sisters wasn't easy at all. Their table in the cafeteria was packed full and only trusted people sat next to the twins. Recently the journalist Canary joined their table and she hit it off with the twins instantly. She still wanted that interview with Killua, and being as shrewd as she was she realised where to put the pressure to get him to comply. He couldn’t recall ever denying anything to his sisters, their puppy eyes game was too strong. 

Thus he ended up interviewed by Canary in his room. He recounted the timeline of events and tried to cite what Knov said as best as he could recall. His sisters chimed in on the injustice he was subjected to. The twins sat with Killua and Canary partially as moral support for him, and partially so Alluka could shyly glance at the reporter. Killua wanted to tease her, but he knew he’d ruin her chances that way so he bit his tongue. For now, he could always make up for it after their guest left. 

‘Now he pretends I’m not in class most of the time, he rarely even looks in my direction. But he checks my work very thoroughly, he’s looking for any excuse to lower my grade.’

‘Are you saying he’s grading you differently than the other students?’ Canary asked.

‘If I say this and you print this he’ll go after me again.’

‘But this is how you feel.’

‘Yes, this is my subjective feeling, which may be very easily attributed to me feeling resentful over that first essay.’

‘He could blame you for being biased and vengeful. Without having all the essays independently graded there’d be no way to prove that he’s using a different standard for you.’

‘Exactly. And so far I’ve still managed to pull off As, even if it was the longest time I’ve ever spent on school essays.’ 

’How much time did you spend?’

‘Probably forty hours on each, researching, outlining, writing and editing in total.’

‘I think more than that, even,’ Nanika said. ‘You were obsessing about it.’ 

‘You’re very stubborn.’ Canary smiled at him.

‘Yup, he is. He actually loves this, because he loves to prove how smart he is,’ Alluka said and grinned.

‘This is what I have in common with my sisters, as they’re proving right now.’

‘Hey!’ The twins protested in unison.

Canary giggled .

‘Thank you for your time, I’ll give you my article to read before I print it.’

‘Great.’ He looked to Alluka who sat slightly behind Canary. She was looking at him desperately. ‘It’s about an hour till dinner you could join us, Canary.’ He invited her.

You’ll owe me, brat, he thought.

‘I’d love that.’

‘Would you like to play GIT with us?’ Nanika asked. 

‘GIT?’

‘Greed Island Tournament. It’s a game.’

‘I could try.’

‘I’ll teach you!’ Alluka offered a bit too eagerly and blushed. 

‘Sure, sounds great.’ 

The three girls left his room. He decided not to chaperone them, Alluka needed the space to make her move. He wished her luck in a quick text message. 

##  **___**

About twenty minutes later Nanika came back to his room with a notepad and a history book under her arm.

‘What’s up?’ he asked.

‘It got crowded down there, they’re making googly eyes at each other,’ Nanika said and stuck her tongue out. 

Killua smiled. ‘That was a predictable outcome.’ He got up from his desk and rearranged the pillows to sit on the bed. He patted the space beside him and Nanika joined him. 

She handed him the book, opened the notepad and started to doodle in it.

‘Okay, yes. I know, but…’ She wiggled and Killua put an arm around her shoulders and hugged her. ‘Finally we can be twin sisters, like we were always supposed to be, but now she’s so pretty that obviously other girls are coming. And yes, I know it makes sense. It’s just hard.’

‘You also have new friends: Gon, Ikalgo, Zushi, Retz and maybe even Canary too. And even not all of those theatre people are horrible. I mean you and Retz talk with Machi about crafts a lot. And recently with Zushi too.’

‘That’s true, but they are also Alluka’s friends. Also you know, normal friends. And with Canary she’ll want to be alone.’

‘They are, but you, Retz and Zushi are really tight, you’re thinking of building things together, just the three of you.’

‘It’s not like we don’t want Alluka there.’

‘I doubt she told you to leave right now. But she’s not that much into building things, she prefers drawing or making videos. She probably felt like the third wheel when you all were geeking out.’

‘Still, dating is different from a project.’

‘I know, but maybe one day you’ll also find someone you want to be alone with. And this doesn’t mean she won’t spend any time with you. Besides you also have me to hang out with.’

‘It’s not the same.’

‘Really, I’m wounded.’ He kissed her temple.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.’

‘I know. Your bond is special. I’ll read to you.’

‘Yeah, one paragraph and then I’ll repeat. Thank you.’ 

She went back to her drawing and he began to read the chapter. 

##  **____**

During lunch Zushi put his tray next to Gon and didn’t try to squeeze in beside Retz or one of the twins, where he usually sat. He had really bonded with the three of them, they liked Zushi’s figurines and airplane models he built and painted. While hanging out with the team the sophomore hadn’t even breathed about any of that, even to Gon who felt a bit offended when he thought about it. He expected his aura to be more trustworthy. 

‘Hi, Zushi.’

‘Hi.’

Zushi nervously stuffed his face with spaghetti. Chewing noises ensued, mixing with loud chatter of the cafeteria. Gon didn’t rush him, though he suspected that the younger teen was bracing himself for a more serious conversation.

‘Killua is pretty scary, isn’t he?’ Zushi whispered once he swallowed. 

‘No?’ Gon stared at Zushi shocked. ‘Killua’s amazing and a great friend.’

‘But the way he looked at those guys, those who clearly wanted to ask Alluka and Nanika to homecoming.’ 

‘I doubt Killua would say or do anything if his sisters were interested in the guy who was asking.’

‘You really think so?’

‘I’m absolutely sure, he respects them too much.’

Zushi sighed.

‘You wanted me to give you an excuse not to ask Nanika to homecoming.’

‘How did you know?’

‘I noticed how close you are with her and Retz.’

‘Yeah, so I don’t know which one to ask, I like them both a lot! And is it really okay to ask one and not the other? They are friends. And if I ask one and they turn me down, and then what? I can’t ask the other because that’d make them the second choice and it’s not like that!’

‘Sounds tricky.’

Zushi was eating faster and faster, Gon worried that he’d choke.

‘So, I was thinking,’ Gon said out loud commanding everyone’s attention. ‘Homecoming dance is next week, and I thought we could all go as friends.’ He pointed around to Killua, Ikalgo, Canary, the twins, Retz and then Zushi.

‘That sounds like fun!’ Alluka exclaimed. 

At the drama club’s end of the table Gon could see Phinks’ face sink. 

‘Are you fucking five, Freecss?’ the basketball captain exclaimed. ‘That’s such a lame idea.’

‘Then don’t come with us.’ Gon shrugged and took a sip from his water bottle. 

‘Of course I won’t, your loss loser!’

‘He didn’t even invite you,’ Machi said sarcastically. 

‘Okay, what’s wrong with you? Why are you always working with him? Huh?’

‘Because I can and it annoys you?’ 

‘I’m going to kick your ass, Machi.’

‘Like you can.’

‘The fact that he didn’t invite me doesn’t mean no one’d want me to come.’

‘Literally no one would.’

‘You don’t know that.’

‘I told you not to ask Alluka out, and she was the first to cheer for Gon’s idea.’

‘Well…’

‘I thought you got my drift before, moron, but you didn’t. I’ll spell it out for you.’ Machi raised two fingers to her face, made a ‘v’ and stuck out her tongue. 

Alluka blushed hot red. So did Phinks. 

Killua glared at Machi. ‘He might not be…’

Kalluto took Machi’s hand away from her face. 

‘Sorry, kid,’ she said to Alluka. Kalluto’s sincere disappointment got to her.

‘All this aside,’ Ikalgo said. ‘Alluka’s right. It’s a great idea, we should all go together.’

‘We can come up with some way to make our outfits match. Maybe a colour.’

‘Or an accessory?!’ Retz chimed in. 

Soon Phinks and Machi were forgotten. 

‘Thanks,’ Zushi whispered. 

‘Always.’ Gon smiled.

##  **____**

School dances had the whole school abuzz, excitement mixed with disappointment as invitations to go together got accepted or rejected. An atmosphere this intense usually drew Gon in, infected him. Matches, concerts, fairs he loved going to those, hanging out with everyone. But the last time he had vibed with a school dance was in primary school, it had a dinosaur theme and everyone dressed up, which made dancing the wildest thing ever because of all the fake tails and spikes. Many parents complained and all subsequent dances had far tamer themes and shifted to prioritising the social aspect. The pressure to go with someone killed the fun for him. Not because he couldn’t find anyone willing, he got along with most people at school. He just never felt the need to, so whenever the time of a school dance came the annoying little voice in his head asked: “what’s wrong with you?”

Helping Zushi out of his pickle spared Gon too and he congratulated himself on his quick thinking in the cafeteria. He finally had what he wanted, a group of cool friends to dance with. 

When it came to a group theme they decided to have some sea creature incorporated into their outfits, but not a whale. Thus Gon wore a pair of socks with crabs, Ikalgo found a tie pin shaped like a squid on etsy and Zushi had a shirt with tiny fish. Nanika wore long jellyfish like earrings, while Alluka’s hair was held together by a clip made of a large seashell. Canary sported a manta ray pendant in the pretty deep cleavage of her jacket. Retz also wore a suit, but unlike Canary with a shirt underneath it and a tie with sharks. 

Then there was Killua who just decided to go all out and attached two plush otters to his jacket to imitate a fur trim collar. And the jacket already had a pattern sort of like fish scales, he’d hunted this gem down by visiting all the nearby thrift stores and bragged about it to anyone who looked at him for more than one second. 

For the first hour or so none of them left the dancefloor, sometimes they formed pairs or threes but mostly they danced in a circle and just goofed around. Gon almost felt like 8 years ago in primary school, what they lacked now was a full commitment to the theme they chose. He was already planning to organise a Halloween party where they could go all out, costumes and silly games.

Later he got crowned the homecoming king so he had to dance with other people, including Zazan who received the queen title. It took at least four songs before he could go back to partying with his friends.

Once they tired of dancing they settled in the staircase with some drinks and a full bowl of chips they stole from the gymnasium. 

The world felt really good. Gon was petting the fluffy otter on Killuas collar and moving its paws.

‘Are you enjoying yourself?’ Killua asked when Gon pulled the two sides of the jacket together on Killua’s chest to link the paws of the two otters.

‘Yes.’ Gon giggled. ‘Otters should hold hands, they do that when they sleep, not to lose each other at sea.’

‘Is that so?’

‘Oh, yes, I saw a documentary about otters. You must make sure they hold hands.’

‘No problem, when I detach them from the jacket I’ll put them on a shelf, you can inspect if they are holding hands correctly.’

‘I will.’ Gon nodded his head and smiled at Killua up close.

His friend turned away. 

‘You had too much to drink, Ikalgo don’t give him any more of your cranberry juice, okay?’ Killua used air quotes for the “juice” part.

‘Understood.’ 

‘I had just a sip,’ Gon protested. He didn’t feel drunk, and he doubted the cocktail in Ikalgo’s pocket-flask contained much alcohol anyway. 

‘Yeah, one sip seems enough for you, dummy.’ Killua poked him in the forehead. ‘Especially that you took one sip from Ikalgo, after you sipped also from Machi’s stash, and earlier you had one with Zazan after you two won the Homecoming King and Queen.’

‘Aren’t you observing closely everything I do, like a guardian angel.’ Gon took off his crown and hoverd it over Killua’s head. ‘Now you have a halo.’

‘Idiot, I’m just watching out for everybody.’ Killua turned away blushing. 

Gon remembered little after that because his teammates showed up and offered him more to drink. The next day he just felt blissful, thinking of Killua made him all warm inside, especially when he got the photo of the two otters holding hands on the shelf above Killua’s desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Tell me what you think. Thank you to everyone who's reading


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theatre, theatrics and shenanigans. Plus girls flirting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly about Canary and Alluka. :D

* * *

The art of acting never interested him, so Killua felt a bit apprehensive how his performance was going to be received. On the one hand pretentious Knov could turn out to be a demanding audience, but ever since the essay fuck up he tended to avoid looking in Killua's direction. That also shielded Gon a bit, because he was now sitting directly in front of Killua. This way they managed to break the rules about doing homework in class and reading. 

Now they were planning to pull off stuff that was the opposite of flying under the radar. Killua had stage fright. He had studied online how to imitate stomach problems, so he braced himself. 

Seven minutes after the beginning of the class he started to sway. He took a flu med during the break to raise his temperature and start to sweat. It kicked in and the skin on his face became glossy and damp. Ten minutes past he slid off his chair.

Gon got up in an instant. 

'Killua, what's wrong?' he was squatting by Killua's side. 

'My stomach hurts,' Killua mumbled as he grabbed his belly. 

The eyes of the whole class turned to them. 

'What's going on here? Is he going to be sick?' Knov asked annoyed.

‘Ugh,’ Killua grunted and curled up on the floor.

‘Mr Freecss, please take him to the nurse before he throws up all over the floor.’ Knov turned around and walked towards his desk. ‘I hope it’s not stomach flu, because we’re all going to be sick,’ he said with distaste in his voice.

Gon helped Killua get up and led him slowly out of the classroom. Killua leaned on him heavily and dragged his feet until they closed the door behind them and moved away from it. Then he straightened up and ginned. Gon grinned back. 

Damn, he’s beautiful, Killua caught himself thinking and quickly tried to chastise his mind for going there.

They walked towards the nurse’s office in silence, until they got to the staircase. 

‘That went better than I expected,’ Gon whispered. 

‘Yeah, for real.’ Killua also kept his voice low in case someone else was out during class too. ‘Only now fifteen minutes have passed since the break. We got out of there really quickly.’ 

‘Yeah, I was worried he was going to question you, but going for stomach issues was the right choice. His disgust response was stronger than his suspiciousness.’ 

They high fived quietly in the corridor and then knocked on the nurse’s door. 

##  **___**

‘Waiting for Nanika?’ Canary asked Alluka, who was standing near the school’s main entrance. 

‘Not really, she’s hanging out with Retz and Zushi today.’ Canary could hear wistfulness in her voice. Those three had been really preoccupied with some project for the theatre troupe recently. While they weren’t actively excluding Alluka, she wasn’t that interested, she mostly listened to them talk out of politeness. 

‘For Kalluto, then?’

‘Nah, only Killua does that sometimes, he distrusts Chrollo, he thinks Chrollo is questionable.’ Alluka sounded skeptical. 

‘He’s not entirely wrong,’ Canary said.

‘Really?’ 

‘It depends whether you believe in redemption and people’s ability to really change.’

‘This sounds cryptic. What do you mean?’

‘It’s a longer story, but if you have time now I can tell you.’

‘Oh, yes, I was actually thinking about what to do now. Would you like to come to my place? I can make you waffles.’

‘Waffles, sweet, very on brand for you.’

‘What? Why?’ Alluka scrunched her forehead. ‘No way! I’m edgy, not sweet-sweet, I’m not a pastel goth, these are real dead dried flowers!’ She pointed at her elaborate headband. 

‘So are you driving home?’ Canary suspected Alluka didn’t cycle in her layered skirts. 

‘I can’t drive, yet. I was thinking of calling a Lyft.’ 

‘Then I’ll drive us.’ 

‘You have a car?’ 

‘Technically it’s a hand me down. It used to be my brother’s but he moved to Washington, DC two years ago, and a nine year old Prius would have been embarrassing for him there.’

‘Oh, it looks nice.’ Alluka circled the car, before she got in and fastened her seatbelt. ‘I like the plaid elements on the seats, they’re very you, so it doesn’t feel like it belonged to anyone else before.’

‘I spent my summer job money from last year to have the seats redone, Jay used to drive his nasty buddies around and the upholstery had stains, he let them eat inside.’

‘And now it matches your skirts and trousers, you like plaid, and vests and suspenders.’

‘But those two not plaid, plaid on plaid’d be too much.’

Alluka giggled. ‘True.’

They took off and Alluka asked. ‘So why is my paranoid brother right about Chrollo?’ 

‘It’s complicated. Chrollo used to be a delinquent, his record was sealed so this is hearsay but he was apparently involved in drugs, and also beat someone up so badly they ended up in a hospital. He and everyone at the theatre troupe were involved in some shady shit. The troupe was created by Kurapika, a counselor for problem teens at the local youth help centre. They had all these kids from our school, getting in trouble, and they organised this theatre thing for them. I wrote a big article about the centre last year, so I learned this when I was interviewing the people who work there.’

‘But now he’s better, right?’ Alluka sounded genuinely concerned, probably for Kalluto’s wellbeing. ‘I mean the people at the youth help centre are amazing.’

Pry or not to pry, Canary waivered. How did Alluka know the centre and the people working there? Then again since all the Zoldycks were kind of runaways from their family, there had to be a lot to unpack there. 

‘He seems to be, I’m sure he still gets high a lot, but from what I’ve seen he’s fully committed to art now, and so are the rest of them. Even Uvo, which is nothing if not a miracle.’

‘Killua must not learn about this,’ Alluka said seriously. ‘For Kalluto’s sake.’

‘My lips are sealed.’ Canary parked in the driveway in front of the Zoldyck house. ‘We don’t have to tell him anything, especially since he’s keeping secrets of his own.’ She decided to fish a little.

‘His massive crush on Gon is a secret to no one.’ Alluka let them inside. ‘Maybe apart from Gon, he doesn’t seem to understand such things.’

The funny-looking thin dog came to greet them first, Canary had asked what breed it was on her first visit but she’d forgotten. She couldn’t get over the shape of Mike though, he seemed so thin, how was he even able to get up. Then the cats just plopped on their sides by Alluka’s feet. All three received pets. 

‘Nah, that one is public knowledge.’ Canary left her bag and shoes by the door. ‘I’m talking about whatever he’s trying to pull with Knov.’

‘With Knov?’ Alluka made a face. ‘He just hates the guy, but I think it’s warranted.’

With an apron on Alluka looked less gothy, the large cartoonish letters reading ‘prison warden’ killed her stylisation. She started on making coffee and waffles. 

‘The hatred certainly is. But a few days ago Killua supposedly was sick during Knov’s class, Gon walked him to the nurse’s office.’

‘He was?’ Alluka paused what she was doing. She resumed taking out the batter ingredients and the waffle iron after a moment of frowning. ‘I haven’t heard about it.’ 

‘Yes, and before that, I've noticed Killua usually wears something with a high collar and very long sleeves to Knov’s class, and then he often changes.’

Alluka was mixing the batter with a pensive expression on her face.

‘Now that you said it, you’re right. He is up to something, I bet Gon is in on it. They sometimes whisper and exchange looks. They supposedly study together, but they could be doing that with us, if it was only learning. They’re probably plotting!’ 

Her mixing got faster and faster, she almost spilt the batter on the counter.

‘I haven’t suspected Gon, but that makes total sense.’ Canary agreed.

‘They’re totally up to something, I’ll have to investigate. Killua can’t think he’s more sneaky than me.’ 

‘I’m just surprised he’s ready to poke Knov after what happened with the essay.’

‘It might be revenge for the essay. Few are pettier than Killua Zoldyck.’ 

The iron was closed with the first waffle cooking inside. In the meantime Alluka prepared whipped cream and Canary helped her rinsing peaches and strawberries.

‘Killua doesn’t come across as petty,’ Canary said.

‘Appearances are deceiving.’

‘Is that so? I’ll assume something about you and you’ll tell me if I’m right or not.’

‘Fine, but we’re taking turns.’

‘Deal.’ Canary pondered a bit before she made her first statement. ‘The Exorcist is not your fav GIT character, even though you always play him.’

A soulful sigh escaped Alluka’s lips. ‘That’s true.’

‘Then why do you do it?’ Canary had suspected it when Alluka made a face when she chose her character to demonstrate the game during Canary’s first visit to the house. 

‘I always play with Nanika and Killua, and now Gon. The Exorcist is a healer so he works best with their play style. They are very aggro, Nanika plays Scissorman, so an offensive character, Gon plays Power Kid, another offensive one, and Killua plays Shockboy, who’s technically support but more on the offensive side. So they go in fast and hard and just need someone to keep them alive long enough to overpower the other team.’

‘Which character would you like to play?’

‘I like Killer Loli a lot, she wears these super fancy pink dresses, but she’s defence not offence. And Golddust Girl is super cool, she’s cute and she has all these abilities that confuse the opposing team, but they work better for defence and regrouping than attacking. So I can technically play these two, but Nanika would sulk that I’m slowing them down.’

‘We could play together, just the two of us, I think there is an option to have just a two people team. ‘

‘Definitely! We should try!’ Alluka took out the waffle and poured more batter on the iron. 

‘After we eat?’

‘Yes. My turn to make an assumption.’ She scrunched her nose thinking. ‘I know, when your family doesn’t know what gift to get you they buy you ties or bowties.’

‘Haha, this is mostly true. I also get suspenders. And one of my aunts buys me floral skirts, and she can’t understand that even though I wear skirts, I don’t do floral patterns.’

‘Yeah, some family feels so entitled to dressing you.’

‘Oh my god, yes! And I honestly wish they’d just buy me socks, I usually wear ankle length boots so I could always hide even the most unflattering socks, and they’re always useful at home when it’s cold. But bowties and ties, suspenders, scarves, this is all to be worn out in the open. And some of them really don’t know what good patterns are. I just wear their gifts when i meet them or other family, I’d rather die than show up in that at school.’

‘Hard same, I’d rather die than wear the clothes my mother thinks I should.’

‘I’m so happy that my mom is actually chill about my clothes, when Jay makes fun of me she always says: everyone was once a teen. So I suspect she’s not super into my style, but she’s not trying to tear me down for it.’

‘That’s really cool, that’s what we’re trying to do here, you know, me and my siblings. We try to support each other, even if we’re not super excited about what the others are doing.’ Alluka was plating the waffles and decorating them with a whipped cream. She piped a heart onto one of them and put the fruit pieces in the middle, then she gave it to Canary.

Is she flirting with me? Canary’s thoughts were racing. 

‘I was right, cute is your brand.’ She tried to fish again.

Alluka blushed. ‘This is… because… because you’re so sweet and kind,’ she mumbled. Then in sheer panic she tried to remake the splash of whipped cream on her waffle into some other shape that could also be read as cute. 

Canary made her put down the piping bag and pulled Alluka’s plate closer. She spread the cream with a knife and then made a heart with strawberry and peach pieces on it. She pushed it back to Alluka, who blushed even more.

‘So…’ Canary started. When she was making the fruit heart she felt very clever and confident. Now that she had to speak no decent line came to mind.

‘Yeah…’ Alluka looked at her plate. ‘Kalluto’s play opens next week, we could go together to the premiere.’ She paused. ‘If you’re even interested in it, I mean if you like theatre.’

Be smooth, be smooth, be smooth, Canary panicked in her head. Just how? 

‘I’m sure I’ll like it with you, if it’s bad we can make fun of it together.’

‘Then, it’s a date, right?’

‘Right.’ 

##  **___**

She really wanted to be classy and chivalrous, but sitting next to Alluka while playing put Canary in a very romantic mood. She blamed Alluka’s perfume. 

‘You’re so much better to game with than my siblings,’ Alluka said as they went upstairs. 

‘How come? We lost almost every game.’

‘So? I finally got to try out all the cool abilities Golddust Girl has. And you didn’t yell at me, put pressure to move faster.’

They sat on Alluka’s bed. The subject died then, loaded silence appeared between them. Why did they go upstairs, no one was home apart from the house manager who kept to his room on the first floor. They could have stayed in the living room and talked there. But they came here, for privacy. 

Don’t be an awkward idiot, Canary thought, but her brain blanked, what could she do now to meet the expectations but not go too fast. 

Alluka put her hand on Canary’s. 

Canary smiled and said. ‘Thank you.’

‘Huh?’ Alluka looked at her surprised.

‘I had no idea what to do now, thank you for not being an idiot like me.’

‘You think I know what to do? I’m panicking now!’

‘Same.’ Canary looked Alluka in the eye. 

They laughed, long and hard, their whole bodies were shaking, but they didn’t let their hands separate. They leaned in closer to each other and kissed still laughing a bit. 

‘I need to tell you something, before it goes any further.’ Alluka got serious all of a sudden.

‘Are you sure? You don’t have to tell me any secrets.’

‘I want to, because it might influence your … the way you see me.’ She paused. ‘I just don’t want to have to deal with it later.’

‘Okay.’

‘I’m trans,’ Alluka said looking at the floor.

‘This doesn’t influence the way I see you. Or the crush I have on you.’

Alluka deflated a little and put her head on Canary’s shoulder. Canary embraced her. 

‘You’re the first person outside the family who I’ve told this.’

‘Thank you for trusting me.’

They hugged and made out until Nanika came home.

##  **___**

The audience cheered the first act with a standing ovation. Even during the performance the murmurs of the viewers spared no praise. 

'They love your graffiti art, and the tagging.' Canary whispered to Alluka. 

'They're impressed by the scenery and mechanical set elements. Nani and Retz and Zushi worked on that, with Ikalgo's help.'

'Yes, true.' Canary kissed her humble girlfriend on the cheek. 'But the compliment was for you, since I'm next to you and you're my favourite person. They'll get their compliments in due time.'

Alluka blushed at that. 'Let's get something to drink and snacks behind the scenes, since I'm in with the troupe, we don't have to stand in line with the rest of the audience.' She changed the subject but locked elbows with Canary and put her head on Canary's shoulder. Then she directed them towards the backstage, away from the crowded exit to the hall. 

A few old fluorescent lights lit the corridor leading backstage , the aura it gave off felt like a classic horror game. Canary was admiring the unsteady structures of piled up discarded furniture, when she was twirled around and pinned to the wall. Alluka leaned in for a kiss. 

Canary's heart was racing. Their little rivalry when it came to making the other person flustered had started on the day they had set up this first proper date, a play and dinner at the local Mexican food truck. Because while Canary was planning to take it slow they’d ended up sharing their first kiss on the day they made waffles together. SInce then, she complimented Alluka whenever she saw an opportunity, because the junior couldn’t come with a reply on the spot; but she retaliated with such gestures of very very hot affection. Touche.

‘Classical kabedon, I see,’ Canary said with a little smirk.

‘You’re such a weeb.’

‘It’s not me who’s drawing Power Kid and Shock Boy or Killer Loli and Golddust Girl steamy fanart.’ 

‘First off, the PowerShock stuff…’

‘PowerShock..’

‘Shut up.’ Alluka covered Canary’s mouth with her hand. ‘The PowerShock stuff is to tease Killua, so it doesn’t count. And KillerDust is because we play it.’

‘Oh, these are very not weeb explanations.’

‘I also know about your KillerDust fanfic, don’t pretend you don’t know ship names.’

‘No such thing has ever been published on my blog.’

‘I know who you are, songbird_with_a_bowtie on AO3.’

‘This is a no comment kind of situation.’

They moved on backstage because the corridor was rather narrow and a few people who’d passed them told them to “get a fucking room”.

Canary thought that nothing could spoil her great mood and then she saw Knov with Palm looking at the props and backgrounds for the play. Normally no one would think much of an English teacher and a student who writes poetry hanging out with the theatre people. They were the kind of nerds one would expect there, but Knov stood too close to Palm, when he showed her stuff he brushed against her. Canary cringed. Instead of the snack table she directed Alluka towards the teacher-student cursed ship.

‘Hi, Palm,’ She purposefully addressed only her friend. ‘How are you liking the play so far?’

‘Oh, hi Canary… and…’

‘This is Alluka, my girlfriend, she’s a junior so maybe you two haven’t had the opportunity to meet.’

‘I don’t think so, nice to meet you Alluka.’

‘Hi, great to meet you, Palm. I like the play so much, are you enjoying yourself, Palm?’

‘Yes, the play is pretty…’

‘Trite,’ Knov butted in and didn’t let her finish. ‘Modern reimaginings of Romeo and Juliet have been done some many times, making them opposing graffiti gangs is just a superficial change. It’s amusing, however, to look at the cheap cliches.’

‘My sibling Kalluto is playing Mercutio, I think they’re great.’

‘Yes, he’s doing a decent job with the tired material he’s given.’

‘Kalluto is nonbinary, they prefere the they/them pronouns.’ Alluka insisted. 

‘I’m sorry, Ms Zoldyck,’ he stressed the “Ms” in an unpleasant way and rolled his eyes, ‘but I find these novel pronouns to be an assault on the English language, and as a teacher I just can’t condone it.’

‘I see.’ Alluka kept her reply curt, but Canary felt her vibrating by her side. Of course getting into it with Knov here and now would just get Alluka in trouble. The asshole knew that and was abusing his advantageous position to misgender Kalluto and display his transphobia to Alluka knowing full well it’d hurt her. 

Alluka wasn’t out in school after all. She had finished changing her legal name during the summer, but when the Zoldyck siblings had filed for transferring to this school that process had been still in progress. Apparently the information about that’d somehow travelled to that shitstain Knov and he had no qualms abusing the knowledge. Like he had no reservations to abuse his power over his students and most egregiously, Palm. Canary seethed, knowing she was right about Knov but not knowing what to do about it.

‘Well, ladies, since you’re enjoying this, have fun, I’m sure the review of this banal performance is going to be glowing as Mr Lucifer is going to write it himself.’

He couldn’t stop himself from attacking Canary too, her paper and her integrity, he knew how much both mattered to her. 

‘Actually, he isn’t,’ Canary said. She made the decision on the spot, before she hadn’t even known if there would be a review at all. ‘I’m writing it with Amane, the whole next issue is dedicated to the play.’

‘It’ll be a fascinating read then.’ He smirked and ushered Palm away.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in two minds whether Alluka would come out this early or not, but I felt that it would make sense for her to come out early. The fic is set in our times, in our reality so terfs are a thing, besides Alluka had previously suffered so much rejection from her family, I think to protect herself she'd be open up front not to face the disappointment of getting rejected later. idk if it's the right choice, it's just what made sense to me.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Canary and Alluka visit Palm. Gon goes shopping with Killua.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late with this chapter, I'm not very organised nowadays.
> 
> **Warning:  
>  This chapter brings up the reasons why this fic has the mature rating. both because of the bigotry and sexual themes. **

* * *

Okay so the appropriate word was probably ‘disgustingly’, that’s how sweet and cuddly they behaved all the time. Canary had enough self-awareness to know that. They held hands, giggled and whispered to each other during all breaks and while returning from school. Always together, always very close. But she couldn’t help it, being around Alluka made her feel all giddy and silly. 

The stairs leading to the roof from her fortress of contemplative solitude they turned into their makeout spot. They tried to go there as often as they could to kiss away from the eyes of their peers. 

On Monday after the play they didn’t manage to go up there. Palm was sitting on the steps on the second floor. She got up and adjusted her long skirt as soon as she saw them.

‘Hi, Canary.’ Then she turned to Alluka. ‘I’m Palm, we didn’t really get to talk on Friday.’ 

‘Hi, I’m Alluka.’

‘I wanted to ... to apologise for what happened at the play.’

‘Nothing happened, it’s okay, you didn’t do anything.’ Alluka assured her. Canary wondered whether she did it out of politeness not to drag the topic out or if she had really already forgiven and forgotten. They had ranted about it on their way home after the performance, so maybe that let Alluka get over it.

‘I … yes, I guess. I just wanted to say that Mr Knov is very traditionalist. He doesn’t like changes in the language. But I’m a poet, and I see language as a living thing, you know?’ She looked pleadingly at Alluka, then at Canary. She was begging them to hear her out. ‘Language needs to help us talk about everything, and communicate about the world and feelings. And they are all so complicated and constantly changing, so we can’t limit the language.’

‘That’s very true,’ Alluka said. Canary could feel the air change around her, initially Alluka seemed indifferent and reserved towards Palm, but now she was leaning in, her body language was inviting. 

‘It’s sometimes hard to talk to Mr Knov, because he’s a teacher, I think he feels he needs to have all the answers, but I’m trying to convince him. Through my poetry I want to convince him, and others, that it’s good to show complicated reality.’

‘I’d love to read some of your poetry,’ Alluka said.

‘Really? Thank you!’ Palm reached for Alluka’s hand and squeezed it. Alluka squeezed her back. Canary felt almost as if she was intruding on their moment of artistic comradery. She had a different opinion on language, she saw it as a tool, a very imperfect one which obscured communication instead of facilitating it. The world’s complexity required precision to portray and language was far too vague for that. 

‘Actually, Canary has most of my poems.’

‘Yes, but I can give to Alluka the notebooks I’ve already read through. I’m actually almost done with them all and I have my favourites for publication, Wink Blue, for example. But I’d like to talk to you more about this.’

‘Talk? Do you want to discuss the poems?’ Palm seemed hesitant.

‘If you don’t want to… I mean, I can’t publish all I like the most, I’d need to be a separate volume, but I wanted to run by you what you think of my choices.’ Canary tried to be as diplomatic as she could. Of course Palm’d received no outside criticism of her writing, only Knov’d given his opinions so she was probably anxious to hear someone else’s thoughts. As a fellow writer Canary understood it all too well. 

‘Ah, yes, I’d like that, and of course please show the notebooks to Alluka, thank you.’ Palm smiled. 

‘I’ll text you in a few days so we can meet.’

‘Yes! And I almost forgot, I wanted to invite you both to dinner at my house, in two weeks. I’ll text you the details.’ Palm clapped her hands which spooked Canary and Alluka a bit. She bid them farewell and ran off. 

‘She has such strange energy,’ Alluka said,’ but she seems nice.’

‘Yeah.’ Canary paused to think how to phrase what she wanted to say, cursed language. ‘There’s a lot going on with Palm, when you read the notebooks you’ll see, but I’d actually love to know what your impression will be.’

‘Mysterious and creepy.’ Alluka pecked Canary on the cheek.

‘Yup, that’s the vibe.’

____ 

On Saturday evening Canary and Alluka arrived at Palm’s house. The atmosphere was even eerier than before because they were all dressed up in elegant clothes. Canary had clued in Alluka what to expect and they decided not to act too couply while there. 

The classical tablecloth, the three course meal and multiple appetizers didn’t surprise them, but Knov’s presence did. 

Throughout the meal Canary observed everyone and tried to figure out the dynamic between the teacher and the parents. Did they know about his relationship with Palm? The true nature of it? The pastor mentioned that Knov tutored Palm and he also called the teacher a pillar of their congregation. Predators operated like this, on the outside they tried to lead respectable lives and assume positions that made them seem trustworthy. A teacher can also tutor privately, especially the daughter of his friends. Palm’s position had been vulnerable from the start with her oppressive parents who clearly valued appearances over connection and intimacy. 

Palm’s mother ordered a break between the main course and dessert, she offered Canary and Alluka some tea on the patio. The glass walls and ceiling didn’t offer as much warmth so the girls helped themselves to the blankets that lay on an armchair. Then they walked around looking at the flowers in the pots. Alluka took photos of the interesting leaves and blossoms, to later ask the pastor’s wife what they were. They also sniffed the herbs trying to guess their names. Palm stayed behind to help clear the table, but she should have joined them by now. 

They waited until they heard Palm’s voice coming not from the living room, but from the side where the other door to the patio was. They quietly came closer and looked in through the glass. They couldn’t see Palm but now they heard her clearly and the person she was talking to, Knov, as well. The room looked like a study.

Alluka glanced at Canary with an unspoken question, should they eavesdrop like this? But Canary put a finger to her lips and leaned in. 

‘...no Palm, I don’t know why you’d think I’d be okay with this. They are my students, besides, these girls, they are really not people you should associate yourself with.’

‘Why? They are very nice, they’ve read my poetry and talked to me about it. You said no one my age would understand but they did, I wanted you to get to know them better, because they liked my poetry…’

‘Stop. They surely understood nothing, they’re just stringing you along to play some joke on you. You should be more careful.’

‘But I…’

‘Palm, high school is not your moment to thrive, it’ll come later. We’ll get married, move away from here. You know that the people at school would not understand. And these girls are homosexuals and worse, they’re evil.’

Alluka almost gasped audibly but Canary managed to cover her face. 

‘I just want to have friends.’

‘Not like them, when we’re married we’ll have proper friends. Publish the poems in the paper and don’t associate yourself with those degenerates anymore. Don’t make me tell your father you associate with people like that.’ 

Palm and Knov left the study and the girls moved away from the window. 

‘Have you recorded that?’ Alluka asked.

‘No, damn it, I should have.’

‘This is proof that he’s abusing her.’ 

They couldn’t talk anymore because Palm came. ‘Sorry for making you wait.’

‘Oh, it’s fine we were... admiring your patio garden,’ Canary said.

‘Yes, I want to ask you about some flowers, what are their names, I want to use them as reference for my drawings.’ Alluka sounded almost normal, she was trying very hard not to let it slip how shaken she was.

‘Which ones?’ Palm smiled.

They toured the patio and then Alluka showed Palm the sketches she’d made for the illustrations to Palm’s poems to be published alongside in the school paper. 

##  **____**

People were swarming in the shopping mall. Gon never liked the bright and crowded place and he avoided it usually by buying clothes and stationery online. With the return policies and detailed size tables on the websites he could try all clothes he had ordered at home and not in the stuffy crowded changing rooms, with other customers impatiently waiting for him to finish. 

This time he had no choice but to visit the mall in person because it was for shenanigans sake. They had to check out some earrings for Killua. Gon had never been to this part of the shop where they found the tall rotating stand with jewellery. 

Killua was turning it around slowly. He was wearing a loose t-shirt that slid off his left shoulder, it worked great to display the length of the earrings. From time to time he picked out a pair and lifted it to his face. Then he scrunched his nose disapprovingly. Until he found a pair made of silvery chains interspersed with blue and purple glass beads. The strands of thin metal slid down Killua’s long neck. 

Gon’s eyes followed them from Killua’s fingers holding the plastic display card to the tiny drops of colour resting on his exposed collar bone. He suddenly felt very hot even though he was holding both their jackets. He swallowed. 

‘What do you think Gon?’ Killua side glanced at him. ‘Are you ok?’

‘Yeah,’ Gon shook a bit like a dog trying to get dry. ‘It’s just too hot and stuffy in here. But these look great, they will go well with your clothes.’

‘Great I’ll take them and we can move on, I also want to leave as soon as possible.’

Killua paid, but unfortunately they had one more shop to visit. Killua had a list of cosmetics from his siblings, who wanted to use his journey to the mall to get what they needed.

‘I thought of actually buying my own nail polish for the rules challenge,’ Killua said as he picked up various items listed on his phone screen. ‘Normally I skim a bit from my sisters’ stash, but it’ll feel more official if it’s my own.’

‘Actually, I think I could do the nail polish rule, so we could go together, you with the earrings and I with the nails.’ 

‘Great, we’ll choose a colour for you.’ Killua grinned at him. 

The shelf with nail polish samples stretched wide and tall, Gon felt a bit intimidated. He didn’t expect so many options. 

‘What do you like to wear?’ Killua pondered out loud. ‘Jeans, joggers, tees and sweatshirts, sport shoes or combat boots. Grass and bottle greens, black, white, grey, a bit of orange..’ He paced a bit before he picked out a few bottles, all of them containing dark polish. ‘Let’s see.’ He took Gon’s hand and compared it against the bottles. 

Again Gon felt he was sweating. He was also absolutely certain he didn’t want Killua to let go, it felt so nice. 

‘Did any of them seem right to you?’ Killua asked.

To his horror Gon realised he hadn’t been paying any attention to anything else but the feeling of Killua’s fingers on his skin. He didn’t want Killua to think that he spaced out out of boredom. He’d asked for this after all.

‘That one is kind of iridescent, like a seashell.’ Gon pointed to the only bottle that seemed in any way significantly different from the others. 

‘Bold, it’s with glitter. But since you wear no accessories it’ll just glam you up in a lowkey way.’ Killua left the other nail polishes on the display shelf and put the one Gon chose into the shopping basket. Finally they could leave for real. 

##  **___**

The whole ride to Killua’s house Gon couldn’t help his anticipation. He had to wait through the chaotic dinner, usually an enjoyable moment, but this time he sat on pins and needles. Finally they settled in the bedroom. 

‘I could ask my sisters to paint your nails.’

‘I’d prefer you do it, if that’s okay. Besides they might ask questions.’ 

‘Sure, we don’t have to involve anyone else.’ Killua actually put on the earrings to get used to them. 

They hypnotised Gon as the metal and glass glimmered while moving across the skin. When Killua picked Gon’s hand up to apply the polish a shiver ran down his spine. 

He couldn’t understand why he was so hyper-aware of everything. Even stuff he considered the most normal parts of his visits to Killua’s house. He’d always liked to lie on the bed, because it offered the most comfort. He could stretch however he liked. It also smelled like his friend, a nice combination of shampoo, shower gel, deodorant and detergent, mixed with something extra, what Gon could only assume to be Killua’s own scent. Now he could hardly sit still because it made him really antsy. 

On the other hand he absolutely didn’t want to lose the physical contact. He observed Killua’s right hand gracefully glide above his fingers, while the left one gently maneuvered his palm into position. 

‘First layer is done. I’ll do the second one once this dries up.’ He put Gon’s hand down on the bed covers. ‘Try not moving your fingers for a minute.’

‘It feels strange to have something on my nails… kind of heavy.’

‘It is a strange feeling, but you get used to it after a while.’ Killua smiled. ‘It looks good on you.’

‘Yeah, I think so too.’ Gon moved his head around to catch how the light reflected off the glittery surface. It made him immensely happy. 

It’s pretty, he thought, just like the earrings. Just like Killua. 

Gon suddenly felt himself flush all over. This time, he was sure Killua would be able to tell he was blushing. His face was so hot, it must be obvious to anyone who looked at him. He looked away, but fortunately Killua’s attention was still on his hands. Thank God, he thought, as he tried to get himself under control. He didn’t know what he would have said to Killua to explain himself if he had noticed. What could he even say, he had no idea what was causing all this. 

##  **___**

Gon got home pretty late that night. After Killua painted his nails, they talked a bit and played console games. He really didn’t want to leave but he couldn’t stay either. All the way home he felt torn, as if going back was an option. He started to miss Killua instantly after they parted. Now that Gon was lying on his own bed he couldn’t stop thinking about Killua. Looking at the shiny nails just deepened the feeling of longing. To make the evening even more odd he started to get aroused. He wondered if he should just ignore it. His libido had recently changed and he was still getting used to it.

When he was a kid Mito gave him a book about how human bodies looked and developed and where babies came from. It contained basic information and not very detailed drawings, all presented in a funny casual way. That had been the beginning of his sexual education, and Mito expanded on it a few times by giving him more books and asking if he had questions after he read them. She’d seemed a bit awkward about it all so he tried not to ask too much. 

One of the rare times when Ging’d visited he had The Talk with Gon. His father mainly concentrated on condoms and not getting the girl pregnant. It mostly put Gon off sex, not because the idea of condoms was gross or anything, but it made Gon feel more unwanted than ever. As if Ging was trying to tell him how to avoid a situation such as the one that had led to Gon being born. 

The main message Mito wanted to impart to him was that sex should be fun for everyone involved and that he should only do it if he and his partner really felt like it. The books she gave him described both sex and masturbation as a natural part of growing up, and she must have read them and agreed with them, because she had never shamed or threatened him, she had only asked him to be discreet about that kind of stuff. 

He had complied with that pretty easily, because he’d never really got with any of his girlfriends to the point where sex even bacame a topic. He had masturbated, but if the stories his teammates told were true, not too frequently. At least not until this school year. Maybe his hormones finally caught up or something like that and his interest in sex suddenly grew. He had this standard fantasy for jacking off, just a guy and a girl having sex, vaguely based on some porn someone shared in the team group chat. One whole channel of that server was devoted solely to porn. He’d watched maybe the first three of those videos, none of them in full. They looked weird, fake. The people didn’t seem to be really having fun and that went against what Mito had taught him. So he just used the poses he saw there to imagine something more appealing. 

Gon reached for the lotion in his nightstand. Ignoring a boner wasn’t really the most effective way of getting rid of it. He laid on his back and recalled his standard fantasy to move things along faster. 

Nothing about the evening wanted to follow any known patterns, apparently. He wasn’t observing some made up people having sex in his mind. He was now part of the scene, naked while sitting on the table with his legs apart and his arms wrapped around the man in front of him. It wasn’t the porn star with his forgettable face. Killua was leaning above him and gently smiling. His hands were touching Gon’s dick. Then his fingers slid down between Gon’s ass cheeks. Killua’s chest was bare, but he still had the earrings on. They tickled Gon’s skin when Killua moved to whisper into his ear.

‘What do you want me to do?’ he asked. 

Gon opened his eyes and instantly regretted it. He was alone in his room, touching himself like he had never touched himself before. 

He swallowed thickly. Surprisingly to himself he knew the answer to that question.

It explained so many things and complicated many more. But he could think about that in the morning, for now he didn’t want to leave the question unanswered. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Tell me what you think <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon's teammates are jerks. And Mito is a troll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a fun chapter to write.  
> [ Pio](https://pio-hxh-art.tumblr.com) drew a beautiful illustration for this chapter, she included Bisky!

* * *

After morning gym workout Gon put on just his hoodie and got a few curious stares for it. Truth be told his team mates had thrown looks his way all morning.

‘Are you okay?’ Meruem asked, when Gon was about to pick up his bag.

‘Sure. Why?’

‘Egh. You forgot to put on your t-shirt, before you put on the hoodie.’ His eyes briefly darted to Gon’s hands, but he looked up quickly. 

‘Oh, I didn’t forget, but English is my first period and Knov doesn’t allow nailpolish, and my tee’s sleeves only go halfway down the forearm.’ He showed Meruem how he could hide his whole hands into the roomy sleeves of the hoodie. ‘And I’d overheat if I wore both to class.’ 

Silence enveloped the room. 

‘Yeah, about that.’ Welfin started awkwardly. ‘What the fuck is going on with that?’

‘I just think it looks cool. I wanted to try it.’ Gon smiled. 

No one spoke for a moment, but they all focused their attention on him and the atmosphere grew tense. 

‘That’s gay, Gon.’ Leol said finally. He was making a face. Many of them were, actually. 

Gon shrugged. ‘So what? I’m the same person, even if I’m gay. I’m still the captain, I still scored the most points in all the games this season. I still run the fastest. Nailpolish doesn’t change anything.’ He grabbed his things and walked between them as they tried to avoid eye contact with him. ‘Honestly, I never scrutinise what you wear, why the hell do you care what I wear?’ He left the locker room and slammed the door behind him. 

They annoyed him so much. Now more than ever before. Seeing Killua in the classroom just made Gon more stressed. His friend grinned and quickly flashed the earrings he was wearing and put his collar back up. 

‘Hi’, he said as he sat down in his chair, but did it with his back turned to Killua. On top of his general frustration from interacting with the team he now also had to deal with a very vivid flashback from his fantasy. 

‘Hey, is everything okay?’

‘Yeah… I’m just tired.’

‘Try sleeping a bit, it’s not like Knov will say anything interesting.’ 

Gon giggled. 

##  **___**

At least taking notes while trying to hide his nails preoccupied him during English, contrary to other classes which just failed to keep his attention. Even Mr Kite’s biology class barely registered in Gon’s mind. He dreaded the lunch break where he was going to see Killua again. When he got to the cafeteria he realised that the problem was more serious than he anticipated. He always sat squeezed next to Killua, because so many people wanted a place at that table. Alluka noticed him and waved at him to come, thus taking away his choice to flee at the last minute. He brought his tray and took his regular place. Killua acknowledged him, but he was actually chatting with Ikalgo, his friend he shared AP Math and Physics with. It should have made Gon feel relieved that he didn’t have to keep a straight face while looking at Killua, who had now changed his sweatshirt to a tee with a pretty deep cut to fully display the fancy earrings. The earrings that instantly dragged Gon back to fantasy land. 

Gon tried to concentrate on his lunch and not the jewellery. Or the other guys who sat at the table, whose presence suddenly irked Gon. 

Now he understood why he instantly liked Killua and wanted to spend time with him. Gon had known for a while that gay people existed, but it was purely academic knowledge, because they weren’t a part of his context. He had no openly queer people around him and he rarely watched anything on TV that wasn’t a nature documentay. Films and series didn’t really hold his attention, he preferred being active like while playing games and sports, or exploring outdoors and spending time with animals. He had never really considered being gay himself, it just wasn’t something in his frame of reference. But as soon as Killua appeared he drew Gon in with how real and unapologetic he was. Gon couldn’t tell exactly when he developed a crush on his best friend, but the previous night proved without a doubt that he had one. 

What was he supposed to do about it? Would it make sense to ask Killua out? Would he even consider Gon? Did he have anything to offer? What would he even tell Killua? Hi, so I figured out I’m gay yesterday, because I jerked off to an explicit sexual fantasy featuring you. I think you’re brave and beautiful so would you like to go out with me and teach me the gay ways? Yeah, that sounded very unappealing. 

Was Killua even single? Was Gon in his league? Were all the guys present at the table also trying to get together with Killua? That wouldn’t surprise Gon, he suspected everyone at the table sat there to be a part of the openly outcast club, those who said fuck the cishet life. He didn’t use to mind them before, he actually used to enjoy how diverse the table was, but now he discreetly assessed them all as potential competition. 

##  **___**

Football practice showed that his team didn't react too well to the information about his sexuality. They collectively ignored his words when he explained strategies and on the field he was practically a ghost. 

Bisky took about 20 minutes of that before she told them to hit the showers. 

'Meet me in the weights room when you change. All of you, the person who tries to skip is automatically off the team.'

Heavy silence enveloped the locker room and all the guys purposefully made Gon shower alone, though Meleoron and Colt looked a bit apologetic about that. While Zushi seemed scared. Gon just rolled his eyes and washed fast not to make Bisky wait, she already looked pretty pissed with them as it was. 

'Who's going to explain what the fuck was happening out there?' she addressed them unceremoniously. 

They all looked at each other. 

'Seriously?' Bisky's voice bordered on furious. 

Gon sighed. 'It's my fault.'

'Oh?'

'I'm gay and wear nailpo..'

'The gay thing again?!' She didn't let him finish. 'Have you lost your entire fucking minds?!'

'Coach, he hung out with the freak and now he's gay, so,' Leol said and others nodded. 'We just don't want to catch it.'

Bisky stared at them, her mouth half open. 

'Meruem, do you think you can catch the gay from someone? Like a cold?'

Gon knew why she put Meruem on the spot, he may have had the build of a pro footballer but he didn’t fit snugly into the jock stereotype because he had one of the highest averages at school. A lot of the team looked up to him for help with homework. 

Bisky was drilling a hole in Meruem's forehead with her stare. 

'No,' Meruem said finally. 'People's sexuality is innate. Outside influences can't change that.' 

'A+ from biology.' Bisky said sarcastically. 

'But Gon used to be straight.' Welfin pointed out. 'He dated many hot chicks, even a lesbian.' An approving murmur spread among the other boys. 

'I dated Machi to help her win a bet with her friend,' Gon clarified. 

The revelation caused some chatter so Bisky used the whistle to shut them up. 

'People realise that they'e gay at different points in life. And this is not my class to teach, argh.' She paced a bit. 'The point is, stop acting like idiots. Gon's had eternal patience with all of you for a year now. That's why he's the captain because he tolerates you all. Appreciate that and start acting like a team. And if you can’t do this for common decency’s sake then do it for selfish reasons. Many of you got scholarship offers, do you think they won’t be revoked if the team starts to suck? You really think you can win as much as you do without him? Will you stay on the team, Meruem, if Gon leaves? Or will you concentrate on your grades to get the scholarship another way?'

Meruem bit his lip and looked at his shoes.

‘Thought so, you’ll be losing two star players for the price of one.’ 

'Coach, but how are we supposed to change in the same locker room as him?'

'Leol, if you don't know how to dress take it up with your mum, not me.'

Gon snickered and so did a few others. 

'I'm serious, coach, what if he stares at us?'

Bisky took out her phone. 'Okay, show of hands, in front of how many of you has Gon swung his dick after leaving the showers?' No one raised their hand. 'Come on, no one's been exposed up close and personal to the gay dick?'

All the players were looking at the floor. 

'Alright, and how many of you've been exposed to Leol's dick?'

People squiremed. Gon didn't want to raise his hand first. 

'Come on, I've been coaching football for 30 years, I know how boys act.'

Meleoron raised his hand and others did too, including Gon. Bisky went through all the guys on the team with the same question, and then asked about slapping on the ass. She was taking notes on her phone. 

'The results are in, our resident gay has so far sexually harrassed 0 poeple, so has Meruem, who's straight. One would almost think it's about brain cells and not sexuality.' She paused. 'Either way, Meteor High owes me, so we'll have a friendly match with them this Friday. Gon, Meruem and Youpi, you're off the team until then, you'll go to the gym instead of field practice too, or you can go and play basketball with Razor's boys, I don't care.'

'Coach, why?'

'I want you to see how you play without your captain, and your strategist, I'm willing to bet half of you will run in the wrong direction.' She smiled cruelly. 'Oh, and Cheetu is the new captain.'

'No, why?!' Protests erupted. 

'Because he won both in dick flashing and ass slapping.'

The team roared with laughter and Cheetu tried to look smug, but it came out more nervous. 

When Gon moved to leave, Cheetu got onto one of the benches and tried to make a speech.

‘Guys, it’s Meteor High, we always run circles around them, we’ll crush...’

‘Shut up Cheetu, I can’t stop thinking about how many times I’ve seen your dick up close. That’s so gross.’ 

Meruem matched Gon’s pace in the corridor leading to the exit. Youpi was right behind them.

‘Meteor is going to plough through them like through pudding,’ he said. ‘Since Bisky is benching me I’d rather stay home than watch that.’

‘Yeah, I also don’t think I’ll come to that game,’ Gon said. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t intend for this to happen.’ 

‘I know, and it’s not your fault.’ Meruem sighed. ‘You’re the captain because you’re not malicious and don’t hold onto grudges. That, and the fact that their opinions never sway you, you just tune them out and do your thing. It’s an exceptional talent, that’s why Bisky made you captain and why you’re the best in this position.’

‘Yeah, ignoring what they think is really cool,’ Youpi said and looked pointedly at Meruem. ‘Their opinions are shit most of the time.’

‘You hang out too much with Pitou.’

‘Pitou’s right though.’

They exchanged glances.

The conversation didn’t make too much sense to Gon, but he had only seen Pitou a couple of times. They never clicked because Pitou had some kind of beef with Mr. Kite whom Gon adored. 

‘Either way,’ Meruem addressed Gon. ‘This will blow over, they will lose the game on Friday and sober up.’

‘Yeah, hopefully.’ They left the school building. ‘See you tomorrow guys.’

‘See ya.’

##  **___**

'You're home early,' Mito said when he walked into the kitchen and kissed her on the cheek. 

'Yeah, Bisky sent us home.'

Mito looked at him worried. 

'Can I help you with this?' He indicated the dinner ingredients on the counter, he wasn’t sure he wanted to get into it all right off the bat. 

'Yes, change and wash up, you can make the salad.'

He came back after 5 minutes in shorts and a worn out T-shirt, and started to rinse the vegetables. 

Mito was assembling a casserole in a dish while the oven was preheating. 

'What happened with Bisky, do I need to call the school?'

'No, she's taking care of it.' He shook the lettuce leaves and put them away to dry off. He stood in place not ready to reach for the tomatoes. 'I'm sorry, I'm being vague.'

The oven door shut and Mito gently touched Gon's elbow, she passed him a kitchen towel. 

'Come, sit with me.' she pointed to the kitchen table. 'We still have forty minutes before the casserole is ready.'

They sat next to each other and Mito took his hand. 

'I like your nails,' she said. 'It's a good colour for you.' 

'Thanks,' He bit his lip. 'We bought it with Killua yesterday. He painted my nails.' Gon couldn’t get himself to say it, he rarely withheld things from Mito, but after what had happened with his team he hesitated. Those guys didn’t matter in the long run, even if they hated him till the end of the year, but Mito was his mum, he loved her. What if she also thought that him being gay was a big deal, and in the negative sense too. Though he’d never heard her say anything homophobic, some of her coworkers were in gay relationships and she spoke about them completely normally. ‘The guys in the team flipped out about it.’ 

Vague again, he chastised himself in his thoughts. 

‘The nailpolish?’

‘Yeah, because it’s gay… painting your nails…according to them.’

She shrugged. ‘Gay is not a bad word, even if it is gay so what. They speak like those awful old people from Fox News, your teammates.’ She laughed. 

‘Yeah, I said something similar.’ He laughed too. ‘They just reacted to it poorly. Well maybe not that similar, I just told them I am gay.’ When he finally said it he tried not to stare at her, not to stress her out how much he wanted to know her reaction.

She got up and kissed his temple, and hugged him. ‘That sounds about right.’

‘It does?’

‘Yes, I suspected it might be the case, but I didn’t want to pry because you weren’t saying anything.’

‘I only figured it out yesterday… How did you know?’

She sat down again. ‘From your past relationships with girls, especially after I saw you with Killua. You never really seemed very involved in those past relationships, there was no drama, no sneaking around, no tears. It seemed to me that I was more excited about them than you, especially with Reina. With Shizuku you were both still kids, so the casual nature of that felt normal, Palm seemed very erratic so I was actually happy that it didn’t last. But Reina has this perfect high school sweetheart vibe, she’s pretty, kind and a good student. You worked so well as lab partners, I got so emotional when you went with her to that homecoming dance, because you looked so cute together.’

‘I remember, you took a hundred photos of us.’

‘I did, and I cried a little, too, because I thought that this is finally it, your first love. But it wasn’t… I’m sorry I presumed, I pressured you with my enthusiasm.’

‘You didn’t pressure me, though I did feel strange at that dance, but not because of you. More because of everyone else. Before the dance there was so much hype, everyone was talking who’s going to get drunk, who’s going to make out or have sex during it or after. And I just couldn’t picture myself and Reina in these situations, so I felt weird. I wanted to be as excited as everyone but I just wasn’t.’

‘Sweetheart.’ 

‘Yeah, so now I’m actually relieved because it all makes sense.’ He was nodding his head, then he suddenly noticed and felt a sudden bout of panic. ‘Wait, what did you mean compared to Killua?!’

‘Ever since you two became friends you seemed more cheerful and excited about everything, especially about spending time with him. You were even excited about the school dance, I’m not sure that had ever happened before. And you just sometimes look at him so intently, it’s very sweet.’

‘I do what?! Oh no, what if he noticed!? I haven’t told him anything yet!’

Mito giggled and got up. She took out a large salad bowl and started to tear the lettuce up. Gon followed her and poked her in the side.

‘No, come on, this is serious, do you think he noticed?!’

‘I don’t know, Gon. Wash the tomatoes.’ 

‘What if he knows that I have a crush on him and hasn’t said anything because he’s ignoring that and just wants to be friends.’ Gon’s thoughts were racing and his hands were shaking while he tried to wash the tomatoes without squeezing them. 

She sighed. ‘Finally, teenage angst.’

Gon scrunched his lips and side-eyed her. ‘I just want you to know I’m in real panic now.’

‘I know, I’m enjoying this immensely.’

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon never halfasses anything and Killua sux at texting and emojis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beautiful art by the amazing [ Pio](https://pio-hxh-art.tumblr.com). I love you, thank you for drawing all this wonderful art for this fic. <333

* * *

The Zoldyck house was unusually quiet, the twins were spending time with their friends, Kalluto had rehearsal and Gotoh went shopping. Zetsu, Hatsu and Mike were sleeping on the couch in the living room, they barely lifted their heads when Killua and Gon stopped in the kitchen for some drinks and snacks. 

Walking along the second floor corridor felt odd with no music playing, no greetings or laughs. Gon hoped that this would give him the courage to talk to Killua. Maybe not about the crush, but at least about the gay part. He tried before English, but got distracted, lunch was chaos as always so he just ended up chatting with everyone about everything. If he wanted to be honest with himself he just had no idea how to broach the subject. I figured out my sexuality because I met you, thanks Killua. However he roleplayed the conversation in his head it sounded bad and ended poorly with Killua either laughing or getting annoyed. 

Gon put his juice on the bedside table and dropped onto the bed. 

Killua sat on the edge of the bed, not curled up on the armchair like he usually did.

‘You’ve been very silent, wanna talk about it?’ Killua asked.

Gon stretched on the bed and gazed at Killua.

‘I’ve been thinking about stuff.’

‘About the team? I’ve heard there’s some conflict in your team? Are you ok?’

‘Ah, yeah, the team. It’ll be fine I think, with the team. They just gave me shit about the nailpolish.’

‘They’re so insecure, pathetic. Toxic masculinity is rampant on that team.’

‘True.’ Gon nodded. 

‘But you’re still wearing it, despite the drama. Or maybe you don’t have a remover?’

‘I like how it looks, I think I’ll continue wearing it.’

‘I’ll give you the bottle then.’

‘Nah, it can stay here, I don’t know how to paint nails, so I thought you could do it.’

Killua snorted and raised his eyebrows. ‘Don’t you have it all conveniently figured out.’

Gon shrugged. ‘Maybe.’ He flashed a cheeky smile at Killua, mostly to bolster his resolve to stay flat on the bed. He could touch Killua if he reached out, the temptation was strong. Killua was wearing a tee with a cat face and a necklace with a feather. For some reason Gon felt targeted by that, because of how Killua’s collar bone was accentuated by the pretty deep cut of the garment. He couldn’t help but stare at it. 

‘Gon, you can’t look at me like you want something.’ 

Gon’s eyes jumped up to lock onto Killua’s. ‘Why not?’

Killua sighed then smirked. ‘Because you just might get it.’ He got up and climbed over Gon. He placed his hands on both sides of Gon’s head and slowly lowered himself bending his elbows. 

Gon couldn’t turn away, mesmerised by Killua’s lips slowly moving towards his own. When they met Gon closed his eyes and focused on the gentle touch and sweet taste. It technically wasn’t his first kiss but it felt like it. No previous kiss had this dream come true air to it. Had his heart ever beaten so fast?

It ended far too quickly. Killua straightened his arms.

‘So, does this satisfy your bicuriosity?’ 

‘Not exactly.’ Gon reached up and touched Killua’s cheek. ‘I’m not bi, I’m gay.’

Confusion marked Killua’s features, but he didn’t move away, so Gon slid his fingers around his neck. ‘I figured it out two days ago, actually, when I realised that I have a huge crush on you.’ 

‘Oh.’ Killua whispered. 

‘Please say something.’ Gon squirmed nervously. 

Killua rolled onto the bed next to Gon and covered his face with his hands. Gon turned on his side to see him better.

‘You’re serious, aren’t you?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Of course you are, you never half ass stuff.’ 

‘Is that bad?’ Gon tried to hide the panic in his voice. The kiss made him think that he can date the man of his dreams, but Killua sounded sarcastic and distant.

‘No.’ Killua paused. ‘Yes… It’s complicated. I mean for you it’s good, because now you know and you look happy about it.’

‘Because I am. I’ve always felt odd, and left out, because the things people around me cared about were not interesting to me. like dating, school dances, you know. I even tried to make dates into a game just to have something to look forward to. But now I’m actually excited about the prospect of just going on dates, or going to prom. Because of...’

Killua rushed and coved Gon’s lips. ‘Don’t say it, I can’t handle it.’

Gon kissed his palm and Killua pulled it away as if it burned. 

‘Why? I don’t get it, you kissed me, I thought it meant you like me.’

‘I thought you were just curious and we’ll laugh about it later… I just.. This is too much, especially because it’s you.’

‘I don’t know what this means.’

‘How do I even start?’ Killua sat up and crossed his legs. He made several super cute expressions before he spoke again. ‘Let’s put it like this, I can’t date another guy that has stuff riding on his straightness.’

Gon got up too and sat in front of Killua. ‘I don’t have stuff riding on my straightness, whatever the hell that means.’

‘Yes, you do. Your scholarship and thus your future, all hinges on you being captain of the football team and the team doing great. And they’ve already had a hissy fit just because you wore nailpolish once. Think about how they’d react if they found out you’re gay. My previous boyfriend, secret boyfriend may I add, dumped me because he’d have lost his inheritance if his family had found out.’ Killua’s face went from pained to outright crying. ‘And he wasn’t half as amazing as you are. I just can’t get into something like this, I’m not strong enough.’

‘Hey.’ Gon pulled Killua close and embraced him. ‘First of all, that guy sounds like a piece of shit, and you were too good for him anyway.’ He kissed Killua’s temple. ‘Secondly, the team knows, they freaked out because I told them I’m gay… I didn’t think it was a big deal, but I was wrong. It doesn’t matter, though.’

‘It doesn’t matter? Your scholarship, your plans to study biology.’ Killua untangled himself and cradled Gon’s face forcing their eyes to meet. ‘You’re my best friend since I moved here, maybe ever, most likely ever, I want your dreams to come true.’

‘I don’t think my dream of dating you interferes with those other dreams.’ Gon took Killua’s hands and squeezed them. ‘The team is a bit of a mess right now, that’s true. But Meruem thinks it’ll blow over, and I think he’s right. Today was better already. I think they’re realising that we’re all in the same boat and overreacting to my sexuality isn’t really worth it.’ 

‘I hope you’re right.’ Killua sniffed a bit and wiped his tears.

‘Wait… this drama is because you do like me.’ It suddenly clicked for Gon and he beamed. ‘And you want to be with me, you’re just worried.’

Killua covered Gons face with his palm and pushed him on the bed. ‘You’re so smug.’

‘But I’m right, am I not?’ Gon pulled Killua until they ended up on top of each other. 

‘Maybe.’ Killua smiled and pecked Gon on the lips.

‘Stingy.’ He went in for a proper kiss. 

_Art by the talented and amazing[Pio](https://pio-hxh-art.tumblr.com/)._

* * *

##  **_____**

The day went nothing like Killua had expected. Gon came to study together, and they did that for a while after they made out for an hour or so. Once they finished with math they kissed again until Gon had to go home. The wish fulfilment factor of the evening made it hard for Killua to believe that it’d actually happened. His mind blanked everytime he tried to analyse it and he just got very giddy. He took Mike for a midnight run to calm down a bit, but for all the five miles he just felt like he was floating regardless of how much his muscles burned. 

He came back to a message from Gon. A photo of Gon lying on the bed only his head, shoulder and arm gently hugging a pillow visible in the frame. He sported a soft sleepy smile. There were sparkles and stars drawn on it while the writing read: Goodnight, I’ll be dreaming about you 😘. 

Killua dropped face down on the bed and silently screamed into his pillow for a long moment. The photo was still there on his screen. Killua almost ate his phone. He screamed some more before he hit the shower. His brain frantically looked for any not cringy response. Did it even make sense to bother, Gon was probably asleep already, he tried to clutch to any remnants of reason. He got out of the shower, tossed his hair around six different ways before it looked acceptable and then he took about forty selfies until one sort of came out okay. The angle was flattering and he still managed to catch a few droplets of water on his neck and cheek. He agonised some more about the message and emojis, the winky face took off some of the tension but it also looked kind of stupid, so he finally went with: Same, goodnight 💖. 

‘God, this reply sucks, “Same”? “Same?” What, am I going to dream about myself? I’m so dumb,’ he whispered a second later and pushed his phone deep under his pillow. 

##  **___**

The next day changed into one long overwhelming flurry. Gon didn’t half ass anything, so they held hands or locked elbows during breaks. At lunch Gon just settled in Killua’s lap and the whole table congratulated them as Killua tried to interact with them and not think too much about how his hand slithered around the slim waist in public. Cognitive dissonance marked the faces of some students, but most just went with it and cheered, high fived Gon in the corridors or gave them a thumbs up. Gon’s star power combined with his ballsiness forced all homophobes into hiding.

Killua’d been out ever since moving here, but he’d never dated anyone out in the open before, here or in the previous school. His only longish relationship happened entirely in secret. Now he found himself in the spotlight parading around on the arm of the hottest guy in school. Half of his mind was still blissfully swimming in denial. 

‘Why haven’t you told us you’re dating Gon?’ 

On their way home his sisters chastised him.

‘I’m still processing it.’ Was the only answer he had for them. They teased him relentlessly for the rest of the day, so he actually had to move the study session to Gon’s house just to escape that. 

They hadn’t studied at Gon’s that often mostly because Killua had more useful books at home and he didn’t want to carry them around. But they just needed to go through the math and brainstorm the next essay, so the internet alone was going to suffice. He liked going there and any excuse to do so made him happy. Gon’s aunt and great grandma stood in such stark contrast with Killua’s own parents. Spending time with them made Killua nostalgic for a real home, something he’d never had, a confusing feeling. 

The evening took a similar course as the previous one. They devoted an equal amount of time to school stuff and making out until they finished all the homework. 

Gon took Killua’s notebook and gathered the books spread on the carpet and the bed to put them on the desk in a neat stack. All mixed up together, Killua’s stuff and Gon’s in one book tower. 

‘Aren’t you smooth and subtle,’ Killua said and pulled Gon back down for a slow kiss.

‘What do you mean?’ Gon bit his lip, his face the picture of innocence. 

‘You’re assuming I’m staying.’

‘Aren’t you?’ Gon grinned and went for another kiss, a more forceful one. Accompanied by his hands sliding down along Killua’s spine.

Killua smiled into the kiss and whispered ‘smug’ without moving away. Two could play this game, Killua’s hands ventured under Gon’s t-shirt. 

Soon they were both shirtless on the bed, Killua was exploring Gon’s chest with his fingers and lips. Part of him wanted to just unbutton Gon’s jeans and stick his hand inside, but the other was questioning it. Gon had no boyfriends before him, and if Killua understood correctly hadn’t got too far with his girlfriends either. On the other hand everything he was doing right now received an enthusiastic response. 

He decided on some verbal confirmation, just enough not to kill the mood. ‘May I?’ He tugged on the buckle. 

‘Yes,’ Gon lifted on his elbows. ‘Will you…’ he started hesitantly, ‘also...’ He pointedly looked at Killua’s joggers. 

‘I could.’ He smiled and got up to stand on the bed. He slowly lowered his pants in a dance-like motion rocking his hips. 

Gon pulled on the pant leg to get it off faster. He sat up to gently stroke Killua’s thighs. 

‘You’ve got perfect legs,’ he said.

‘Says the most beautiful guy in school, possibly the whole country.’ Killua got back down and unbelted Gon’s pants. They came off together with the underwear when he pulled on them and Gon didn’t lift his hips high enough. 

‘I’m sorry,’ Killua said, reaching to correct it.

‘Nah.’ Gon stopped his hand. ‘We’re heading there anyway.’ He helped along and then stretched completely naked on the bed. 

Killua sighed, the sight left him speechless. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you to everyone who's reading this story.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon and Killua talk about intimacy, Mito uses a printer to troll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is again on the mature side. Sex acts and sex toys are implied and discussed here.

They cleaned each other in the bathroom and sprinted back the few feet to Gon’s room giggling. They jumped on the bed and it gave a sound of protest. They laughed louder. 

‘God, your aunt is going to hear,’ Killua said and his voice broke a little. ‘She’s probably heard us already.’

‘Doubtful, she left to meet her friends, and when they go out she doesn’t come back before 2 am, it’s only 11.’ Gon cuddled up and pulled a blanket over them.

‘And your great grandma?’ Killua embraced him. 

‘Her room is on the first floor on the opposite side of the house and she tends to listen to the radio in the evenings, if she’s not sleeping already. Don’t worry.’

Killua kissed him, he was indeed relieved. He used to treat sex as a shameful secret which happened in hotel rooms or while everyone was out of the house. With Gon he’d just forgotten himself, he felt so uninhibited and welcome. 

Gon moved away a little and interrupted Killua’s train of thought. ‘Killua, are we going to do, you know, butt stuff?’

Killua snorted and laughed. He grabbed Gon’s confused face and planted a wet kiss on it. ‘What are you even?’ 

‘What?’ Gon made a sulky face so Killua kissed him some more. ‘Why are you laughing?’

‘Because I’m a little overwhelmed. But in a good way. It’s just that I’m not used to this level of intimacy in a relationship… granted I only had one serious one before this. But you’re so amazing, because you actually want to talk to me about this and it means so much.’ 

‘Oh, you didn’t talk with your previous boyfriend?’

‘Not about sex, we just did some stuff mostly in silence and when something went wrong there was just this awkward moment full of unspoken reproach. I don’t know, back then I thought this is how it’s supposed to be.’ 

‘Sounds pretty awful.’

‘In hindsight, and with you as a benchmark I have to agree.’ Killua kissed him again. ‘I’m so into you,’ he whispered against Gon’s lips. Everything about this was crazy, they went from zero to sixty in a matter of a few days, but Killua felt such a strong connection between them. Everything about Gon put him at ease, he couldn’t wrap his mind around it properly.

‘It feels like a valid question, though, about the butt stuff. Because I like the idea of it.’ Gon brought them back to the previous subject. ‘And I thought that’s how guys have sex.’

‘So you think we didn’t have sex just now?’

‘Well.’ Gon scrunched his forehead. ‘I mean in the book Mito gave me they included all kinds of stuff as being sex, including mutual masturbation.’

Killua giggled at the professional term. 

‘See,’ he said. ‘But I get what you’re asking. Anal sex is tricky, you just don’t get to it on your first try. Have you ever tried anything down there?’

‘A bit when I was masturbating recently.’

‘With a dildo?’ 

‘I don’t have a dildo, with my finger.’

‘That’s not enough, you’ll need to read up online how to prep.’

‘Can’t you just tell me?’ Gon looked at him with a smile. He gently traced his finger down Killua’s chest. ‘I like listening to you.’

‘If this isn’t awkward to you.’

‘I think googling this will be more awkward, especially with all the porn sites out there.’

‘Fair enough.’ Killua propped himself up on an elbow. ‘Okay, I’m understanding this right and you want me to fuck you.’

‘Yes.’ Gon nodded eagerly. ‘Have you ever done that?’

‘Yes, so I know that it’s not something you should start with.’ He paused. Mixed feelings washed over him, the memories of his previous partner trying to fuck Killua with very little prep and lube and how walking was an issue after that. Then his rebound phaze on Grindr after that relationship fell apart. He had zero trust for a rando from the internet to actually wear a condom, so he only hooked up with guys who wanted to be on the receiving end and they usually took care of their own preparation before he showed up. 

‘We’ll probably need to buy you a dildo. Penetration’s basically something you should get your butt used to, and starting small and working up to it is recommended, over several days or so.’ He learned that from the internet, after he checked shocked if anal sex should really hurt that much. 

‘So we need to wait? Until we buy the dildo.’

The amount of times the word ‘dildo’ featured in the conversation had Killua on the verge of cracking up again, especially due to the serious tone of it all and the surreality of his past clashing with his present. Plus the “we”, that meant so much in such a subtle way. They were in a relationship not just by name, they were discussing things that concerned them both in an open and honest way. They were planning their intimacy without shame but with the understanding that they both need to agree to everything. 

‘No, we can start smaller. And today if you want to.’ Killua had an epiphany on how to get off the dildo subject. ‘There’s actually other butt stuff we can do if you have a condom.’

‘I have heaps.’ Gon said. ‘Turn around and open the night stand drawer.’

Killua followed his instructions, it indeed overflowed with condoms. 

‘My dad’s been giving me condoms every time he visits since I turned fifteen. He very much doesn’t want me to impregnate someone by accident.’

‘Oh goodness, we’ll be very careful then,’ Killua said in a dramatic voice.

Gon chuckled. ‘The ones at the bottom may be expired by now, I have no idea how long condoms are valid, I probably should look through the drawer. But the ones on top are the most recent so they should be good.’

Killua picked up the first box of unflavoured ones and looked for the use by date, the condoms were good for a few more years.

‘To be honest they don’t have to be as strong for what we’ll do now, as long as they don’t crumble to the touch they’ll be fine.’ He pushed away the blanket and moved to the foot of the bed. He pondered a moment. ‘I think I’ll be more comfortable on the floor, move to the edge of the bed.’

‘What are you going to do?’ Gon did what he was asked, but looked a bit unsure.

‘You’ll see.’ Killua got off the bed. ‘Do you have scissors?’

‘Scissors?’

‘Trust me.’

‘In the desk drawer.’

It took Killua a moment to find them. Then he kneeled before the bed and he corrected his partner’s positioning. He slowly spread and lifted Gon’s legs and got between them. 

Gon was half hard, the view turned Killua on like hell. He opened the pack and cut the condom to create a dental dam. 

##  **___**

After they finished the second round they showered together which almost led to a third one, but they were both spent by that point. 

When they finished in the bathroom Gon gave Killua a pair of boxers to sleep in.

‘I need to call Gotoh.’ Killua remembered suddenly. ‘He’s probably worried.’

‘Yeah, I’ll get the bed ready.’

Killua stepped out into the corridor and quickly phoned to tell Gotoh he was going to overnight at Gon’s. The house manager took that information seemingly without any emotion, but due to the chatty twins Gotoh knew that Killua and Gon were dating. Luckily the conversation ended before that could become a topic. 

When Killua finished his call he checked his Twitter. His dash was cluttered with Canary’s thread. She had been live tweeting the football match and many students joined in even creating a hashtag: whalehuntingseason; followed with #meteorhit and #thanxcheetu. From the thread Killua found out that the Whales scored no points against Meteor High and Cheetu completely failed as a quarterback. He scrolled through a bit of it to feed his schadenfreude and then got back to the top to join the fun when he noticed a tweet from Gon replying to Canary.

It read: sux to be them, i on the other hand scored twice today 💦😋.

‘What?!’ Killua ran back into the room. ‘What did you just tweet?!’

‘The truth.’ Gon grinned. ‘I knew they were going to fail miserably.’

Killua face palmed. Then quickly typed a response.

‘That’s what happens when you play on the right team 🌈😎😘🌈,’ Gon read out loud. ‘Weren’t you outraged a moment ago?’

‘If you’re broadcasting this, I’m taking credit.’ Killua dropped next to him on the bed.

‘You deserve all the credit.’ Gon went in for a kiss. 

##  **______**

In the morning Gon gave Killua a t-shirt to wear and they both went downstairs to the kitchen. 

Mito was starting making pancakes while Abe was sitting at the kitchen table and cutting fruit. 

‘Good morning.’ Gon went up to his aunt and great grandmother and kissed them on the cheek.

‘Morning,’ Killua said awkwardly.

‘I heard you two moving upstairs, so I could finally start breakfast,’ Mito said as if admonishing them gently.

‘Mito,’ Abe said with a smile. ‘They’re young, they have a lot of time.’

‘Pfff,’ Mito snorted. ‘You two can set the table, Gon will show you where the plates are.’ 

Killua’s hands shook a bit when they were fishing out knives and forks from the drawer. Gon embraced him and said: ‘It’s okay, why are you stressed?’

‘I’m worried about what your aunt and great gran are thinking. Though they seem perfectly chill, I’m overthinking this, am I not?’ he whispered.

‘Probably, I’ve had friends stay over before.’

‘Did they sleep naked in your bed?’ Killua kept whispering.

‘Nope, mostly slept on the floor, but I don’t think my family inspected where you slept.’ Gon reassured him and hugged him tighter. 

‘I still can’t wrap my mind around how you’re so open about this, at school, at home.’

Gon shrugged. 

‘It just feels natural and right.’

They kissed and embraced each other until Mito caught them slacking off on the task she’d given them. She threatened them with cereal instead of pancakes if they didn’t have the table ready in time for serving. She also tasked them with making coffee as a penalty for procrastinating. Killua looked bashful and it tested Gon’s restraint because he wanted to hug him again and kiss every inch of that cute blush. 

##  **___**

After breakfast they ended up sitting together on Gon’s bed. Killua sat behind Gon, with his back against the wall and Gon between his legs. He rested on Killua’s chest and enjoyed a soft embrace while browsing for dildos on his laptop. The offerings far exceeded his expectations. Shapes, colours, textures, materials, sizes, the choices seemed endless and Gon’s head was spinning. On top of that his libido was reacting enthusiastically to the possibilities he saw on his screen. Killua wasn’t even trying to help, apart from giving his opinion that the best materials were those which washed easily. Other than that he just teased Gon and indulged in meanspirited innuendo. 

When Gon narrowed down his choices to a few sets, however, Killua did actually help, even though he was just trying to mess with Gon. He started to describe in detail what they could do with each set and sneaked his hands into Gon’s boxers. 

Once he finished, Killua shamelessly wiped his hands into Gon’s tee. 

He would have sulked but the orgasm high kept him mellow, besides he knew exactly imagining playing with which item had got him over the edge. Gon added it to his cart and got up to look for his card... But first, to wash up and find a change of clothes. 

Killua was packing his things when he returned from the bathroom. 

‘You’re going?’ Gon asked confused.

‘Yes.’

‘Oh come on, you can stay, we can learn together.’

Killua came up and pecked Gon on the forehead. ‘All I want to do together is lie on that bed,’ he gently turned Gon’s head towards the mess of sheets and blankets, ‘kiss,’ he pecked Gon’s nose, ‘snuggle’, then his cheeks, ‘and get each other off every couple of hours.’ He finished with a full deep kiss on the lips. 

‘Sounds like a great day.’ Gon raised his eyebrows.

‘If we didn’t have school on Monday and the cursed essay wasn’t due on Wednesday.’ 

Gon sighed.

Killua rolled his eyes.

‘Let’s make a deal.’ He paused. ‘If you do your biology or chemistry homework, you can come over in the evening.’ He traced his fingers along Gon’s jaw bone. ‘If you do the homework part and half the essay, I promise you one orgasm.’ Then he looked Gon straight into the eye. ‘If you bring the whole essay, you’ll get at least two orgasms and you can sleep over. Deal?’

Gon was nodding before the offer was fully stated. 

They kissed by the front door, unable to pry themselves from each other for a good five minutes. Gon started missing his boyfriend before Killua disappeared from view. 

‘Gon we have a dilemma,’ Mito addressed him from the home office. 

Kon sprawled in the doorway, like he liked the most, becoming a huge fluffy obstacle for Gon to step over on his way to his aunt. Mito was standing by the computer desk while Abe was sitting in the chair. 

‘We printed this out and we want to frame it, but where should we hang it?’ She asked, letting Gon approach the desk and look at the sheet lying by the keyboard. 

He recoiled and squatted. He made a bizarre noise that startled both him and Kon. The Mastiff cross looked at him with reproach. 

It was his tweet from last night. Mito followed him, now that he thought about it she followed Killua too. The two women had sat on this knowledge through breakfast and hadn’t broken character once! He was both impressed and terrified. And deeply embarrassed. 

‘It could go with your sports achievements in the dining room, or the biology competitions in the living room. Is this more an athletic success or one in human development?’ 

Abe was just giggling. 

‘You’re ruthless.’ He finally got the courage to stand up and face them.

They beamed toothy smiles at him.

‘You’re so ruthless.’ He whined quietly. 

‘Oh, come on, our boy all grown up, we’re proud.’ Apparently this morning everyone was out to tease Gon. 

‘We both like Killua a lot,’ Abe chimed in. ‘We’re happy you’re together.’

‘You can’t tell Killua about this, he’d be mortified.’

‘Of course we won’t,’ Mito assured him. ‘We want you two to stay together. Our lips are sealed’

‘At least to your 10th anniversary, it’s a 10th anniversary story.’ Abe winked and Gon’s soul almost left his body. They were going to have their fun for a few weeks at least and he had no way of preventing that. 

‘But more seriously, Gon. We’re not the only adults who follow your account. Coach Bisky follows it too, and some other teachers.’

‘Shit.’ The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind.

‘See? On the internet nothing is really private.’ Mito embraced him. 

‘You’re right.’ He sighed and hugged her back. Tons of his schoolmates congratulated them on the tweets and only Leol had the courage to write “quit bragging”, for which he immediately caught a lot of flack from others who just called him jealous. But announcing all of this to the teachers was another thing and Gon felt a bit embarrassed by that. ‘I need to be less rash.’

Abe giggled. ‘Where have we heard this before?’

Gon sulked but only told them he needed to go, he had more pressing matters after all, an essay was not going to write itself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's reading this <3   
> Mito is the best :P


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tough conversation, an ultimatum and a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay. This chapter was the hardest to write, I'm bad at wrapping things up and at making the final decisions. And this chapter is where the whole story comes together and it forced me to choose a conclusion for the story. XD Plus I'm not in a great headspace and my betareaders are too busy with important life stuff so i don't want to bither them but this means i also can't get a second opinion on all this XD. So yeah the writing quality in this chapter is pretty bad because it went through no other filter than my own XD sorry again.

* * *

Three groups of teens in overalls were painting murals on the youth centre’s walls, Canary tried to make out what the finished pieces would depict but at this stage she couldn’t really tell. She walked into the reception area. Here too various art hung on the walls. Not much had changed since she had been writing about the centre the previous year. 

‘Hi, Canary.’ Neon greeted her from behind her receptionist’s desk. ‘Are you here for more interviews?’ 

‘Oh, hi. Not this time, I came to pick up my girlfriend, Alluka.’ 

‘Lucky, Alluka is super cool.’ Neon gave Canary thumbs up. ‘It’ll still be a few minutes.’

‘How have you been doing?’ 

‘Fine, the work here is great, but I see now how behind I am with school stuff. It’s good I decided to do a community college before applying to a state one, I need to catch up on so much stuff.’

‘That’s rough, if you need any help with English or History tell me.’

‘Oh, thanx. Kurapika is already helping me with Maths.’ 

‘They are super nice.’

‘They all are, it’s amazing.’

Neon got back to her work and Canary sat in one of the armchairs. The previous year Canary wanted to write a story about Neon, but when she looked into Neon’s life it took her to the youth centre. Neon used to be a star of a children’s show and then a sitcom when she was a kid. As a teen she co-hosted another show. Her father pressured her into that, he liked the lifestyle Neon’s fame bought. The girl was caving under the pressure though. At school she was considered an enfant terrible, she did drugs, drunk, skipped school and shoplifted. The previous year, once Neon turned eighteen, the police threatened to actually arrest her and give her a record. The school sent Neon to the youth centre and meetings with doctor Paradinglight changed her. Canary had been following Neon since the incident with the police and she could see the girl’s evolution live. It impressed her so she wrote a huge piece about the centre and its staff. Neon became a small case study in that article. Canary’s dad praised her for the decision, instead of a trashy article about a celebrity on a downward spiral she ended up with a thoughtful, socially involved piece, one that really bolstered her college application. And she desperately wanted to show she can write more than one such piece, that it wasn’t a fluke, but something she’s capable of writing regularly. 

Alluka and Leorio came out of one of the rooms, the tall man greeted Canary and invited in another patient. 

Alluka was silent all their way to the car, apart from bidding farewell to Neon. 

‘Hey, is everything alright? Was the session particularly painful?’ Canary asked when they settled in. She knew Alluka discussed her family with the doctor and that brought up painful memories. 

‘Not really, I’m just... ‘ Alluka sighed. ‘I talked with Leorio about how to confront someone I care about in a productive way.’

‘Oh, that’s hard.’

‘Yeah, but in essence he said to be honest and not judgemental.’

‘Haha, that’s a tall order when feelings and relationships are at stake.’

‘Indeed, but I need to do it, or it’ll fester and ruin everything.’

‘True.’

Canary wondered if their relationship allowed her to ask who Alluka needed to confront, was it Killua, or Nanika? The people she loved the most in the world. They spent the rest of the journey to Alluka’s house in silence, Canary felt it’d be better to give her girlfriend space. 

In the living room Nanika, Retz and Zushi were working on some large model of a castle and while they invited the two girls to join in, Alluka said that maybe later. Was she jealous of how close the three had become? Canary saw them as a poly romantic relationship really, they cuddled together and held hands, it was all really cute. 

In her room Alluka stood by the window and sighed, then she faced Canary.

‘We need to talk.’

‘Okay.’ So it’s about us, she thought, the hard conversation. I missed all the signs, great reporter I am.

‘Yesterday I saw that you were writing the article about Knov.’

‘I am, I wasn’t hiding it.’

‘Yes, but I thought you wouldn’t, not after what we’ve heard.’

‘I’m writing it precisely because of that.’

‘But Palm is still talking to us, even after the school paper issue came out. She’s still our friend even though he forbade her!’

‘I’ve noticed and I think we need to help her.’

‘How is exposing her relationship with Knov going to help her? She trusts us and we haven’t even told her we know, and you’re ready to put it on blast.’

‘Knov’s a predator, he needs to be exposed! He’s been abusing her for god knows how long, he’s manipulated her and raped her. He shouldn’t be allowed to keep up a facade of respectable man.’ 

‘If you publish this she will be hit by it, not him. Look, we have no proof, we overheard a conversation but he’ll say we got the wrong impression, the pastor will surely support him, so will the rest of that congregation. So nothing will happen to Knov but the rumor will spread among the students and they’ll concentrate on Palm because they are scared of him and she’d be an easy target. This is how these things work, don’t be naive.’ 

Canary sat down as if hit by a sledge hammer. 

‘I agree…’ She paused. She did, she did agree. Helpless anger boiled up in her. ‘But what can we do?! We can’t stand idly by, we just can’t. And we can’t go to the headmaster or the police, because we have no proof. The paper is our only outlet.’ 

‘The paper will just make it public, but public will mean more backlash on you and on Palm, instead of just some unpleasant words from the principal if we went to him with it privately.’ 

Alluka sat down next to her and embraced her. She planted kisses on Canary’s forehead. ‘I’m with you, really, I’m furious myself, but this is not the way, please. We need to work on Palm instead.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘That we need to get her to see another life for herself, that she doesn’t let him take her away to some other town and imprison her there in a toxic relationship that will be legally sanctioned.’

‘How are we even supposed to talk to her about that? I think only someone like doctor Leorio could unpack it with her, but we? She hasn’t even told us openly about that relationship.’

‘This should be our goal, I think. To get her to the centre and get professional help.’

They cuddled on the bed, then kissed a bit. In a melancholic way though, not cute and horny like usual, where making out often turned sexual even if Nanika was at home. Today they needed comfort and warmth. 

##  **____**

This was some cishet nonsense, Killua had no doubts. The football player gives his partner the varsity jacket, what for? So his partner is signed? Property of Gon Freecss. The jacket clashed with all Killua’s clothes with its bottle green colour and bright orange lettering, and of course the orange whale. He shouldn’t have accepted it when Gon placed it on his shoulders and then embraced him, and kissed him on the cheek… Yeah, he should’ve put his food down and rejected the cishet courting ritual. But when Gon let go of him, the jacket was still there, still embracing him with its warmth and scent. Killua couldn’t give it back, and if someone tried to take it they’d have to pull it out of Killua’s cold dead hands. 

Gon often put notes into the pockets of the jacket, when Killua wasn’t looking. They consisted mostly of hearts and stars and other such nonsense. Gon would also pass similar notes during class. Or he’d put his hand behind the back of his chair and invite Killua to touch him, very hard to resist, despite the risk. They behaved like idiots, a part of Killua’s brain was constantly aware of that, chastising him. The other parts made him lean forward and stroke the palm of Gon’s hand, sometimes put a note in it. 

‘Mr Zoldyck, this is enough.’ Knov was standing next to Killua’s desk.

Killua straightened up instantly, he wanted to say something, give an excuse, but Knov continued. 

‘Not only are you two breaking a rule I set, but you’re acting out this perversion in public with no regard for common decency.

‘Perversion? Decency? Come on, I touched his hand, it’s not a Jane Austen novel.’

‘He’s a man, so are you, it’s degenerate, this lifestyle. You two should be at least ashamed enough to keep it secret, but you flaunt it around. Society is too permissive of degeneracy and we all see it’s slowly collapsing.’

‘Dude, don’t be homophobic,’ Meleoron said.

‘That word does not apply, Mr Jail. A phobia is a fear, I’m not afraid of sin, I despise it and condemn it. As I condemn those who chose to sin.’

Killua was speechless, he’d known Knov to be a piece of shit, but apparently there was an extra level of fanaticism on top of that. The students kept quiet but in a very intense way, the atmosphere didn’t feel calm, Knov crossed a line. 

‘Mr Freecss and Mr Zoldyk, you’ll cease this behaviour at once, if I see it in school again, or on the street for that matter you’ll both automatically get an F.’

‘Our private life has nothing to do with our ability to write essays.’ Gon protested.

‘It’ll be an open disrespect to me and all the teachers in this school, Mr Freecss. This is your last and only warning.’ Knov went back to discussing Hemingway. 

Part of Killua wanted to laugh, another still questioned whether that had actually happened. 

When they left for break Gon looked shaken.

‘Can he do that? Can he give you an F despite all your As?’

‘He’ll certainly try.’

‘Fuck. I’ll call Mito, she’ll come to the school.’

‘Wait.’ Killua grabbed Gon’s hand and pulled him towards a side corridor, then found an empty classroom to talk in. ‘Don’t call her just yet. This may be an opportunity, we can’t be too rash about it.’

‘You want to get him fired?’ Gon was focused on Killua, it made Killua shiver. 

‘Yes, or get us a different English teacher at least, make it so he can’t teach us.’

‘That’d be great.’

‘Yup, so for now we need to talk to people who saw that, maybe someone had the reflexes to record at least a part of that. And then we’ll think about how to use it after class.’

‘Yeah. Let’s think who we’ll still see in other classes and who we need to chase down during the breaks.’

##  **_____**

The recording had only sound, because Reina turned the camera on inside her bag, she didn’t dare to take it out and film openly. But it caught Knov’s monologue about sin and degeneracy, and the moment when Knov forbade them to date, so the most important parts. 

On their way home Killua pondered putting it online and sending a link to the media, but that felt like the last resort. His parents would hate the scandal and that would draw attention to him and his siblings, to Alluka. She didn’t need that. He had to protect her and keep it under wraps as long as he could. He also considered whether they should get a parent involved right off the bat or just go to the principal with the recording and argue their case alone?

At home his sisters and Canary waited for them in the living room. The three of them looked shaken.

‘Are you alright?’ ‘Have you gone to the principal?’ ‘That jerk.’ ‘You can’t leave it like that.’ They spoke in unison.

‘Yes, yes, hi.’ Killua said while taking his shoes off. ‘We’re about to plan our move.’

‘Hi, everyone.’ Gon hugged all the girls.

‘He can’t get away with this!’ Nanika said.

‘And he won’t, we’ve got a recording of what he said.’ Gon assured her.

‘That’s good thinking, it won’t be just your word against his.’ Canary nodded.

‘The whole class heard that, we have witnesses.’ Gon said. 

‘Students may not be treated as reliable witnesses,’ Alluka pointed out. ‘He’s probably the most hated teacher in school.’

‘Well, then it’s great he’ll get fired.’ Nanika said.

‘Yup,’ Killua and Gon agreed. 

Curiously neither Alluka nor Canary did, they just exchanged worried looks.

‘What’s going on?’ Killua asked. ‘You don’t want him gone?’

Canary looked at Alluka, leaving the decision making to her. His sister corrected herself on the couch. 

‘What I say now must remain a secret.’ Alluka paused and waited for their acknowledgments. She continued when everyone nodded. ‘Me and Canary, we discovered that Knov has seduced Palm, and he keeps her in an abusive relationship.’

Something clicked in Killua’s head, of course, that’s why he’s kind to her in class. He’s singling her out, making her feel special but at the same time building resentment among her peers and isolating her in a typical predator fashion.

‘What?’ Gon yelled. ‘That’s sick! He’s so much older than her. And she’s got problems, like being depressed or something! And he’s using that!’

‘Yes, he is.’ Canary confirmed. ‘I wanted to write in the paper about it, but we have no proof. We overheard their conversation, but we didn’t record it. There’s only Palm’s poetry where she writes about a relationship, also a sexual one, with an older man.’ 

‘But that can be read as fantasy, right?’ Nanika said. ‘Writing doesn’t have to reflect reality, especially if it’s not even a journal but poetry.’

‘Exactly.’ Alluka confirmed. ‘The biggest problem is that he wants to move away with Palm after she finishes school. And marry her.’

‘Would her parents agree to that?’ Nanika asked.

‘I wouldn’t be surprised,’ Gon said before Alluka could answer. ‘They’re pretty weird and Aunt Mito has a very negative opinion about them.’ 

‘He’s a family friend of theirs, actually,’ Canary said.

‘They seem to like him a lot, they think he put Palm straight.’

‘Wow, they might be even worse than our parents,’ Nanika said.

‘So our fear is that if he gets fired he’ll take Palm away now, she won’t even finish high school. And we’ll lose touch with her. As her husband and the only person with a reliable ability to earn money he’ll have full control over her,’ Canary said. 

‘We wanted to get her to come to the youth centre with me,’ Alluka said. ‘To see doctor Paradinlight and for him to help her realise what Knov’s doing to her, so she can leave him on her own. But that’d require time.’

‘That’s such a good plan,’ Gon said.

‘It would’ve been if they had time.’ Killua finally spoke. He’d been listening and analysing. ‘Now there’s none. Regardless of what we do, a recording will make it online sooner or later, we have a copy of Reina’s but who can tell if there isn’t another one.’

‘True, we haven’t spoken to everyone after Reina gave us hers.’

‘Yup, and some people may’ve lied. Whatever. The point is that we need to act now, before this goes public and the school will try to save face from some social media shitstorm. But maybe we can kill two birds with one stone here.’

‘How?’

‘We will talk to the principal discreetly and on our own terms. We’ll give him a chance to save face alright, and fire Knov for the homophobia and keep hidden the fact that Knov’s been raping a student and no one among the teacher body realised and called the police. This way the school will come out as noble and responsible instead of a place which harbours predators. But this will also mean that the principal and other teachers will know about Palm’s situation, it’ll be much harder to quietly take her to another town.’

‘Principal Netero might even personally send her to the youth centre, like he did with Neon and some others,’ Canary said. 

‘We’ll just need solid proof that Knov’s seduced Palm.’ Killua finished. 

‘And this is where the plan falls apart. We won’t get any, unless we go through his phone, computer and house probably. It’s not like he uses social media, I know, I’ve looked online already,’ Canary said.

‘We can’t legally get any proof, that’s true, so he’ll likely face no prosecution even though he, fucking, should be in jail,’ Killua said. ‘But to get the proof fast…’

‘We’ll need to negotiate with Milluki.’ Nanika finished his sentence. ‘He can tell us how to hack Knov’s computer and phone.’ 

‘My thoughts exactly.’

‘Milluki, your older brother?’ Gon asked.

‘Yes, he’s a trained hacker and he runs a data mining company, he has the resources,’ Killua said.

‘And lacks the inhibitions to do it.’ Alluka added. ‘You’re his favourite,’ she said to Nanika. ‘You should call.’

‘I will, get ready for 2 weeks in some tropical resort, playing his wingpeople to help him land a date.’

Alluka and Killua sighed heavily, but at least Gon and Canary were going to come too, Killua assumed, and maybe Nanika’s queer platonic dates too, so a solid squad. 

‘Okay, so Nanika will get Milluki on board, once we have the proof Gon’ll go to some teacher and report that, this way we’ll already have a teacher on our side when we go to the principal,’ Killua said. ‘And we’ll get an appointment quickly.’ 

‘Why me?’ Gon asked.

‘Because apart from Knov everyone likes you,’ Canary said. ‘I’ll come with you, don’t worry. Just which teacher?’

‘Cluck thinks he’s an idiot, I mean she hasn’t said that out loud but in our class she made a snide comment about him after she had to check Killua’s essay.’ Nanika pointed out.

‘Yes, but Cluck’s never openly acted against Knov,’ Canary said. ‘She works around him. She offered a journalism class for seniors so that we can take it instead of his AP English and it’ll still look good on our college applications. She runs the paper, helps out with the drama club, all the things he finds beneath him.’

‘We need someone who themself has a strong position within the school hierarchy and who’s principled.’ Alluka agreed.

‘If I’m to go then it should be Bisky,’ Gon said. ‘She despises Knov and has never hidden that. And she was very supportive when I came out as gay.’

‘Yes, coach Kruger sounds perfect!’ Canary cheered up.

‘Great, I’ll call Milluki now,’ Nanika took out her phone. 

Killua pulled Gon to himself and snuggled. The plan was in motion and he just hoped that they’d manage to get ahead of the recording making rounds online. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's reading. I hope you enjoyed this chapter despite it's flaws.


End file.
